Re-examining how I set goals

{from here, found here}

I'm really fantastic at making goals. And lists, plans, dreams, and timelines. Organizing my thoughts is my jam and makes me feel comfortable and awesome.

But when it comes down to the action and the "doing" part? Not so great at that.

This weekend, after feeling particularly miserable both physically and mentally, I decided to stop complaining. Stop whining. Stop feeling sorry for myself. I was so tired of hearing myself and imagining what I sounded like to other people. And I got down to the doing.

I went for a walk on Saturday even though I had pretty terrible cramps and even though it was only for fifteen minutes.

I ordered salad when I was out to dinner two nights in a row.

I sat down and started revisiting all of my Holiday Council materials so that I can get my concrete, long-term goals into focus.

I read the magazines collecting dust in my room.

I prepared lunch and coffee for the next few days of work.

I went for another walk on Sunday for longer than I wanted and then I did an arm workout.

All of these things have been on my mental and on-paper checklists for months. Months. These are things I've been meaning to do since before the New Year, that I then excused myself from during the holidays, and that were meant to be worked on "just as soon as ____ is over" (my birthday, Valentine's Day, THIS AWFUL WINTER). The problem is that there was always something new to fill that blank and put off everything just a little longer.

For now, I'm throwing away my goal-setting tactics. I'm not setting goals the way I always have, because there's that quote about doing the same things over and over and expecting different results (spoiler alert: it's the definition of insanity). Instead, I'm making a list of things I want to do or improve in my life and when the time feels right, just do them. I don't want to save a specific dollar amount or exercise a certain number of times a week or eat sweets at this hour or that many times a day.

Instead, I want to be aware in the present moment and say "no" to spending on something I don't need, say "yes" to exercise as long as I don't feel completely like dying, and replace sweets with something healthier whenever possible and not giving a shit when I can't (or when I simply don't want to).

Plans feed my perfectionism and because of that, I always thought I was doing fine job setting goals. Then I wouldn't meet them and would wonder what's wrong with me. Unfortunately, my perfectionism prevents me from accomplishing almost any of the goals I set out for myself because I'm too specific, so when I trip up, I throw up my hands and say "fuck it."

Making a decision every time an opportunity arises, without having a set goal in mind, removes the temptation of "I'll just start over tomorrow" and forces me to do something. And that's the whole point of it all - not only creating pretty lists on how to become a better version of myself, but actually becoming that person.

January Review & February Goals.

January was a strange month - it was long but it went quickly. It feels like my birthday was ages and ages ago, like it should already be mid-March and not February 4th. Still, I'm in disbelief (as usual) at how quickly I was turning over a page on my calendar.

I didn't have any goals this month because January is always hectic. Having my birthday the week after New Year's means that my holiday season gets extended an extra week. On top of that, we had a lot of snow and I had a lot of year-end stuff to do at work, so I wasn't very motivated to do anything other than remember to sleep, eat vegetables, and drink water. (I can very easily live off of coffee and sugary snacks for quite a while without even noticing.)

Here are my goals for the following month. There are no more excuses - I spent the entirety of January on a break from most goals and responsibilities, so it's time to get back into the swing of it.

No-Spend February. Yup, another one of these. Actually, the only month I did this and was really successful was last August, the very first time I tried it. Even when I'm not super successful, though, it's still a good reminder not to spend my money on silly things. I do allow for spending on the weekends, particularly if I'm going on a date with Erik or out with my friends, but I try to limit it to one activity per weekend. I will also allow for any necessary grocery shopping, which is not a lot because my parents let me eat their food. Otherwise, no fast-food lunches or dinners, no coffee, no for-fun shopping trips, and no online purchases.

Weekly health goals. I'm already behind on this because I went to Erik's at the last minute this weekend and forgot to plan which goals I wanted to tackle on which week. My hope is that some of these will stick after doing them for a week, though the sleeping ones might go awry on the weekends. Anyway, I think it's going to look like this:

• Week One (Feb. 1-7) - Less screen time before bed / going to bed earlier
• Week Two (Feb. 8-14) - Getting up earlier
• Week Three (Feb. 15-21) - More water
• Week Four (Feb. 22-28) - Less processed foods

Since I don't use my phone or computer too much before bed when I'm at Erik's anyway, I already met half of this goal over the weekend. For the rest of the week, I plan on turning off electronics at 9:30pm, getting in bed by 10pm, and having the lights out by 10:30pm (unless I'm exceptionally un-tired, in which case I can stay up later). This will force me to catch up on reading my magazines and all the books I want to read, as well as encourage my journaling and cross-stitch habits, since those are the main non-electronic things I can do.

Complete my Holiday Council work. I was so gung-ho about all of my goals after finishing up the last Holiday Council call before Christmas. Because I knew I'd be busy for a while, I tucked away all of the unfinished paperwork and promised myself to come back to it in the new year. Well, I still haven't done that (oops). This month I plan on sitting down and re-listening to all the calls, reviewing the work I've done, and completing the remaining sheets. This year is going to be fantastic, but I need a plan and seeing as one of my goals is to Be Responsible, I have to sit down and do the work.

Blog more. I am slowly but surely blogging here a little more frequently than before. My goal has been to post twice a week, but I think I managed a weekly post only, if that (and not even on a consistent day every week). This month I'm hoping to stick to my two-posts-a-week goal. We'll see.

What are your goals or intentions for February? How was your January?

2014 Theme: Growth

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During the holiday season, I participated in Stratejoy's Holiday Council. I was worried I was overloading my plate, but it ended up being totally worth it.

While working through the program, I came up with my theme for this year and concluded what last year's theme ended up being.

Last year was about letting go: shedding the shell of anxiety that I had formed around myself. I flew on a plane to and from Las Vegas, BY MYSELF, for Bloggers in Sin City. As I explained in this recap post, Vegas (and the people I met there) taught me that I was invincible.

I carried this confidence into the rest of my year, getting through day-to-day anxieties a bit more easily and taking another plane ride to Florida in the fall. I stopped being so panicky on car rides. I relaxed into spur-of-the-moment situations. It's far from perfect - I still have panic attacks or high-strung moments - but they don't get the best of me. They don't render me helpless anymore.

With that in mind, I knew that this year it was time for the next step: GROWTH. I want to grow in all the aspects of my life - my career, my relationships, my personal self-care habits. There was this long, drawn-out period of time when I thought I wasn't capable, and I thought I had a better "excuse" than most people. Most people get in their own way; I convinced myself anxiety was in my way and it was out of my control. In 2013, I learned that it wasn't.

I'm still figuring out the bits and pieces that make up this theme. I have to plot out all of the smaller, actionable steps and flesh out my ways of being a little bit more, but having the central idea nailed down feels amazing. I'm ready to leap forward into 2014 and grow my life outwards as far as it will take me.

Goals: October Recap & November Intentions.

My October goals were... a total bust. I think I jinxed it by posting here and making a huge deal out of it again.

The No-Spend October crashed and burned. Hard. I spent money left and right - on excessive birthday gifts for Erik, on coffee every other day, on fast food meals and Halloween care packages for friends. My sugar fast? Never happened. Seriously, I didn't even go one day without sugar. Journaling every day was my biggest success, and even that wasn't actually every day.

So what am I doing for November? I'm taking another swing at my no-spend challenge and putting more effort in this time. Other than that, I don't have the time to focus on much else. My part-time, at-home contracting job is almost over and I'm tied up with all of that work, I'm planning to work at the mall at a seasonal retail job, and work is going to get hectic with my bosses taking vacation at the end of the month. Plus, I still need to get down to business in terms of my job search.

It's always a little bit rough to stop my spending habit. A few tips I have:

• Avoid retail shopping at all costs. If I stop going in Target, I will stop spending all of my money there. I don't look at flyers or coupons unless I absolutely need something, like medicine.
• Delete all advertising e-mails. I get a lot of e-mails from coupon sites and websites offering sales and deals. Normally, that's fantastic because I find some really good stuff. However, during my no-spend challenges, I delete everything as quickly as possible. The only exceptions are things that catch my eye as really, really good deals or a gift idea for someone.
• Make my lunch and coffee at home. This takes a little extra effort the night before but it makes it so easy to say no to going out to lunch for food and coffee. Also, I save the gas money I normally spend driving around.

When I did this successfully in August, it took a week or so to get in the swing of it. I did spend quite a bit this past weekend, but part of that was a get-well gift for my cousin and dinner out with Erik. For the rest of the month, I'm going to close my wallet unless it's for something absolutely necessary.

How do you save money? Are you good at it? What do you spend the most money on?

October: My official return to goal-setting.

Goal-setting has never been my strong point. If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, you know that I’m a perfectionist and once I mess up, I’m done with it. I stepped away from it for a while to reexamine how and why I was setting goals. I learned a lot in that time and I’m hoping I’ll be able to put my new knowledge to use for the following three challenges.

No-Spend October

I tried this as an experiment in August and it went pretty well. In short, the goal is to spend zero dollars during the month of October. However, I go into it knowing I’m not truly going to meet that goal. There will be a day that I really, really need that pumpkin spice latte, or a weekend where I want to split the bill on a dinner date with Erik.

The point is to be more aware. If I tell myself no spending, I’m a lot less likely to go out for coffee every day and pick up fast food for dinner once a week. I don’t go shopping “for fun” and I delete all the e-mails I get for stores/websites I follow, unless it looks like an exceptionally good deal. This summer, I got into the habit of spending very recklessly; this challenge helped bring me back into reality and save the majority of my money.

Two-week sugar fast

Back in June, I participated in Nicole’s Sugar Detox and absolutely loved it… right up until it came time to detox. I lasted two days before I was crying over the fact I couldn’t have a smidge of mustard that was in the otherwise-sugar-free meal my mom was making and, well, that was the end of that. Still, it was a great challenge and I learned so much.

Thankfully, I found out that Stephany – who had also participated in the program – had similar issues with making it through the actual detox. Our solution? Take it a step down to a method that she had used (successfully!) before: only eating foods with less than 2g of sugar per serving. Starting today, we’ll be doing it together for two weeks then taking it in our own direction, depending on how we do and how we feel.

Journal for 31 days

This is a last-minute addition to the list and hopefully I can see it through, especially considering I have a very busy month ahead. In the past year, I’ve had a tendency to lose touch with my feelings and thoughts until they all pile up and bury me. Even if I write only a few sentences some days, I want to clear things out of my mind on a daily basis.

What are you challenging yourself to do this month? Are you a perfectionist? Do you like goals where you do something every single day (like my journaling goal) or over-arching goals (like my no-spend goal)?

April.

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April is the first full month of spring, though you wouldn’t know it considering we’ve dropped back down to the thirties and low forties around here. I was very much looking forward to wearing dresses to work, but I guess I’ll have to wait a bit longer.

This month, I have a few pieces of my life I’d like to improve.

Limit spending.

I wanted to cut out spending completely, but I definitely need gas, coffee, and food. My goal is to refrain from spending on anything that isn’t edible (besides the gas, obviously). This allows me to buy groceries, treat myself to lunch and coffee, and split the bill on any dinner dates with Erik. It’s too difficult to try to cut these out, so instead, I’m building my goal around them.

Budget.

When my lunch (half) hour rolls around at work, most of the time I go out and get coffee and something to eat. It’s an excuse to leave my cube and to be lazy about meal planning, but it’s not financially healthy. I’m also prone to impulse shopping: buying a new nail polish ‘just because,’ picking up excessive amounts of candy, or seeing a cool Groupon for something I don’t really need. At the very least, I want to look at my spending and see where I’m willing to cut back, or oppositely, decide it's something I 'need,' budget properly for it, and stop guilt-tripping myself.

Pack lunches.

Yeah, these goals are pretty much all tying in neatly together, aren’t they? This one is both money- and health-conscious because most of my lunches are from McDonald’s. (Which I find funny because I work for a Burger King franchisee. Whoops.) I need to plan out time to research easy-to-prep lunch options and start implementing them.

In addition to these goals, I’m participating in a group called PassionPower, created by Ashley from Your Super Awesome Life. We’ve only had one call so far, but I already know it’s going to be really great for me. April is going to be a really great month and I've got a good feeling about 2013 in general.

30 Before 30: Update 1.

When I got hired last April, it turned my world upside down. For three years post-college, I only worked part-time and had become accustomed to a very flexible schedule and a lot of free time. Once I started on the 9-to-5(:30) grind, I had little time and energy left to focus on anything other than work. All of the goals and habits that were in progress dropped off of my radar completely because I was exhausted by my new schedule.

Now that I've been working for almost a year (crazy!), I've settled into my new normal and am finally ready to get back to working on some goals and habits. To tie it in with my return to blogging, I figured I would take a peek at my 30 Before 30 list and see if I'd made any accidental progress. Turns out I did a handful of things without even trying!

Completed Goals

13. Get a job. This one's pretty obvious, so I won't bother explaining.

18. Go see the Radio City Christmas show. I can't say Erik thought of this completely on his own - I told him it was unofficially on my Christmas list - but he was the one who suggested going together and bought the tickets, so he gets the credit for it anyway. Needless to say, I absolutely LOVED it. I teared up when they first came out, geeked out over the full-on tap routine, and squealed with delight when they did the marching soldier routine. I'm 99% sure Erik slept through half of it, but I was in heaven, and we had a really great night in the city just days before Christmas.

29. Buy a smartphone. As soon as I got my job and saved up enough money, my first big purchase was my iPhone. I honestly can't imagine living without it, especially since I'm not really allowed online at my job except for work-related things.

In-Progress Goals

3. Travel by plane. As I've mentioned, the only convenient way for me to get to Vegas for Bloggers in Sin City is by plane, so this will be happening in May.

22. Attend BiSC at least once! My ticket is purchased and I'm cleared for vacation time, so it's pretty much a done deal. Won't cross it off officially until I've hugged dozens of bloggers, though!

Classic Movie Sub-List

I have a list of thirty-seven classic movies, thanks to the help of Erik, friends, and my lovely readers when I asked for suggestions. It's an arbitrary number; initially I said twenty, but the list just happened to come out to thirty-seven. The only one I've watched so far is Edward Scissorhands, and I missed a chunk in the middle because I was at Erik's and we were getting ready to go somewhere while it was on. Obviously I'm not making the best progress here, but I'm going to put a little more effort into watching more of these.

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There's still a lot of progress to be made on this list, but I think I'm doing pretty well considering I didn't put any effort at all into my accomplishments so far. Stay tuned for the return on monthly goals next week for the beginning of April!

February & March Goals.

February was a complete wash. I threw in the towel in the middle of the month and didn’t make any efforts whatsoever to get back on track. It’s sad, but I’m not going to feel defeated by it.

12 Changes

February’s change was to exercise at least three times a week. I was doing well up until the week before the shower (around the 13th), at which point I was busy getting everything together while also wading through my persistent bad mood.

I give myself credit for the first few weeks, for sure. My exercise method of choice is playing Just Dance 3 on the Wii and I was working up a major sweat every time. Once life got in the way, though, I made it less of a priority. And that’s okay.

For March, I’m hoping to pick back up with exercising and reducing my sugar intake. This goal was the obvious choice since I gave up sweets for Lent. I haven’t been doing so well – I sneaked a few pieces of candy on Friday and completely gave in to gummy bears and chocolate chips on Monday – but I’m going to stick to it from now on.

Depending on how my month goes, I’m hoping to reduce eating foods with ‘hidden’ sugars, like peanut butter, pasta sauce, and things like that. There will be an upcoming post with more details on that. For now, though, I’m focusing my energy on ignoring my sugar cravings the best that I can.

1. Take vitamins/probiotic daily

2. Exercise at least three days a week

3. Craft at least once a week

4. Journal daily

5. Read every day (from a book, not a blog/the internet)

6. Reduce sugar intake

7. Reduce processed food intake

8. Limit time spent online

9. Put at least $10 from every paycheck in savings

10. Drink more water

11.Get on a regular sleeping schedule

12. ???

 

Digital Day Off

My day off for February fell on Super Bowl Sunday. I stayed away from the computer most of the day anyway because Erik was here and we were spending time together. Still, I gave in by the end of the day to check e-mail and Facebook, particularly because we were discussing bridal shower details. It was a really great day.

A Goal a Month

My mini-goal for February was to not spend money, except on those things to which I already committed (which were bridal shower expenses, mostly). Well, I ended up spending extra money every single week. However, it was only on food – a Subway sandwich during my trip to the mall, some candy the day before Lent started so I could savor my last day with sugar, etc. – and it was only around $5 per week. It’s not a success by any measure, but wasn’t a complete failure, either.

For March, I want to read one of my non-fiction, ‘self help’ books. I have a few that have been collecting dust on my shelves: The Happiness Project, Life After College, and 20 Something 20 Everything in particular that I’ve been meaning to read.

What goals are you setting for March?

January & February Goals.

January was a combination of complete failure and great success. Thank goodness for the latter part of that sentence, because otherwise, I’d likely throw the towel in on setting goals for the year. (Okay, so maybe that’s a little dramatic. But only a little.)

12 Changes

Well, crafting once a week, my change for January, was a big flop. Not completely – I worked on two projects this month – but they were small and not what I had in mind for this goal. The problem was that I didn’t take time to look up new projects or set a time to get anything done; it was always something I’d do ‘tomorrow.’ When I go to work on this change again in the future, I’ll make it a daily task or set a specific day every week and dedicate time towards finding new projects and gathering supplies.

Thankfully, I had another goal to replace that one:  taking vitamins and probiotics every day. This habit didn’t start up until the middle of the month, but I’ve kept with it ever since.

So what's in store for February? A change I've already started to put into motion:  exercise at least three days a week. To make sure I don't fall into the same habit as last month, I'm making an effort to work out every day. The 'at least three days' is so that if I miss a day because I feel sick or don't have time, I won't beat myself up.

1. Take vitamins/probiotic daily

2. Exercise at least three days a week

3. Craft at least once a week

4. Journal daily

5. Read every day (from a book, not a blog/the internet)

6. Reduce sugar intake

7. Reduce processed food intake

8. Limit time spent online

9. Put at least $10 from every paycheck in savings

10. Drink more water

11. ???

12. ???

Digital Day Off

Since I’m doing the first Sunday of every month, I have yet to take my day off. I’m looking forward to keeping my computer shut and fully enjoying Super Bowl Sunday away from the internet. More on that next week!

A Goal A Month

Last month, I vowed to finally go to the dentist… and I did! After putting it off for three years and actively ignoring it all throughout last year, I was so glad I did it. For this month, my goal is to not spend any money on things I don’t need. There are a handful of things I need to spend money on, but I know what those obligations are and I’m not spending anything outside of that. This means no fast food, no Dunkin Donuts, and no spur-of-the-moment purchases at Target (even if it’s at the Dollar Spot). My bank accounts will thank me later, for sure.

What goals are you setting for February?

2012 Resolutions.

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Happy 2012, friends!

Did you have a wonderful New Year's Eve? I did, though it was a bit too low-key for me. I spent the evening having dinner with Erik's family and hanging out with his friend who came over to play video games. The last half hour was spent just with Erik, watching TV and flipping to one of the NYE specials three minutes before the new year. It was nice, but a bit anticlimactic - it felt like any other day.

Now that the new year is here, it's time for goal-setting!

12 Changes

For 2012, I'm doing my resolutions a bit differently -- I'll be participating in 12 Changes in 12 Months, the brain child of Katherine and Stephany. A huge group of us (50+, I believe!) is setting monthly goals so that we can keep our focus on each one. Instead of a big list of goals to tackle all at once - which, for me, usually means a few get ignored - I'm setting up a list of habits I want to develop to make my life better.

So far, I only have a list of nine things. But that's the added benefit of this method of goal-setting: I don't have to figure those last three out right away because they can be accomplished later this year!

1. Take vitamins/probiotic daily
2. Exercise at least three days a week
3. Craft at least once a week
4. Journal daily
5. Read every day (from a book, not a blog/the internet)
6. Reduce sugar intake
7. Reduce processed food intake
8. Limit time spent online
9. Put at least $10 from every paycheck in savings

10. ???

11. ???

12. ???

For the month of January, I'm focusing on crafting at least once a week. I already did a lot of craft projects in December to prepare for the holidays, so it should be simple to keep up the habit.

Digital Day Off

In addition to my 12 Changes, I was inspired by Amy to take part in a "digital day off" every month. She's choosing to take a complete break from technology on the first of every month; I'll be doing the same, except on the first Sunday of every month. Which means that yes, I've already done this for January!

It was pretty simple this month, because I was still at Erik's for most of the day. I will admit that I 'cheated' a bit and checked my e-mail in the morning and at night, but I'm planning for all future digital days off to be completely internet-free for twenty-four hours.

A Goal a Month

And finally, for each month I'll be setting one specific, to-do-list type goal. These specific goals probably won't be set far in advance, but instead at the beginning of each month. For January, it's going to the dentist. Despite setting this as a goal every month last year, I still never made my way there. It's finally time because I have a cavity that's freaking me out and because I need to put on my big girl pants and be responsible for my health.

What goals are you setting this year? Are you doing things differently in hopes it'll work better than past years?

Belated November Recap & December Goals.

November. Let’s start from the end and work our way back, shall we?

The final week of my November was cah-razy. It started when my cousin, who drove across the country from California, arrived at our doorstep at 10:30 Thanksgiving morning (when company wasn’t expected until 2). It ended with me curled up in bed for two days dealing with and recovering from a stomach bug. In between was a myriad of poor choices – copious drinking two days in a row, driving to Erik’s despite being exhausted, going shopping and subjecting my low immune system to the germs of hundreds of strangers – all which culminated in my illness.

Aside from all of that, however, November was good to me. I attended a belated Halloween party and saw the gorgeous house that my friends recently bought and revamped. We celebrated Natalie’s birthday with a small shindig at her fiancé’s house and I embraced my love for Christmas.

Let’s see how my goals fared this month.

Get healthy. This is continuously at a stand-still. I always end up being ‘too busy’ to deal with it.

Work on my anxiety. I dealt pretty well with the surprise arrival of my cousin on Thanksgiving, so I get props for that.

Live in the moment. I’m getting better at it as each month goes by, but still not perfect.

Stay in touch. Not good at all. I had a weird mood swing in the middle of the month and decided that I was done playing secretary with all of my friends, so I didn’t contact anyone.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. No specific examples, but I think I’m doing at a good job with this one.

My goals for the rest of the year:
•    eat fewer processed foods and less sugar – no
•    exercise daily (or at least make an attempt) – no
•    find time for myself every day – not really
•    go with my gut and don't do things for others unless those things are also going to make me happy – yes
•    go to the dentist (which I have been avoiding all. year. long. That's just depressing.)  - still no, but I’m –thisclose- to calling

I have this tendency to throw in the towel for December because there is simply too much going on, which I predict will happen again. At the very least, I'll be trying my hardest to meet my goals of eating healthy and exercising so that I don't crash and burn after the holidays are over.

{Have you signed up to receive a Christmas card from me yet? If not, go here and do it!}

November Goal Check-In.

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While searching through my archives for last month's post about goals, I realized I never did one! I was very surprised because I'm not sure what kept me from writing it - I guess it just slipped my mind. Here's an update from the past couple of months.


Get healthy. Nope, not at all. I always have plans in my head, but they never pan out. I really need to figure out what will work for me, because it's getting tiresome.

Work on my anxiety. Not actively, but I've talked myself down from a few near-panic attacks recently.

Live in the moment. Yes and no. I always seem to be looking forward to the next big thing. I'm extremely good at it when I'm with Erik because I really force myself to stop my mind from wandering and appreciate being with him. The worst times are when I'm by myself - I'm either thinking ahead to something exciting, stressing about something in the future, or worrying about the past.

Stay in touch. Not great, but I'm remedying the situation with e-mails and tentative plans coming up.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. I haven't really encountered any situations in the past few months that required me to do this.

Goals for September: find a job (or at least put a lot of effort into finding one); go to the dentist; try to be as anxiety-free as possible for my friend's wedding; visit Lyndsay at my alma mater; finish decorating my room.

Yeah, no. The only thing I semi-did was start decorating my room. I did, however, blog every day in September like I signed up to do. My only goal for October was to journal every day... which didn't happen.

I really just haven't been great about focusing on these goals. As the year comes to an end, I find that I'm busier and busier - first it was the wedding, then Erik's birthday, and now it's time for the holidays and all the preparation that comes with it.

My goals for the rest of the year are as follows:

• eat fewer processed foods and less sugar
• exercise daily (or at least make an attempt)
• find time for myself every day
• go with my gut and don't do things for others unless those things are also going to make me happy
• go to the dentist (which I have been avoiding all. year. long. That's just depressing.)

Autumn Goals.

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In recent years, I've discovered how much I cherish autumn. Sure, summer is fun and filled with barbecues, flip flops, beach trips and warm days, but it's a time to be laid-back. When fall arrives, it feels like a fresh start to me (probably because it's when school starts) and is a time for goal-setting.

Just as I listed a few goals for the sunny summer months, I'm setting a couple more for this season.

Journal every day in October. Considering my month-long quests to do one particular thing every day (vlogging in August, blogging in September) have been pretty successful, I decided to take it offline and journal once a day in October. I have Joy Juice journal prompts in my inbox begging to be written, and while I often get overwhelmed and therefore ignore them because there are so many, responding to one per day is definitely something I can do.

Go with my gut. Inspired by the two most recent Molly Mahar videos/newsletters and my boyfriend's encouragement, I am going to attempt to abandon my tendency to over-think and simply make decisions. I'm an indecisive person and, because of my need to people-please, I utter the phrase 'I don't know' or 'I don't care' way more often than I should. So for the next few months, if I have a preference, I'm going to say so; when there's a decision to be made, I'm picking what I truly want and not what my brain tricks me into thinking is the 'smarter' choice. This challenge is in place for the remainder of the year, but I hope it becomes a habit after that.

That's it, really, since I have my year-long goals and monthly intentions. There might be a daily November challenge if I can think of something worth doing every day again, but we'll see.

Summer Goals: End of Summer Update

In June, I wrote up a list of summer goals that I hoped to accomplish in the three months of sunshine and sundresses I love so much. Considering the first day of autumn has come and gone (that being said, where did the past three weeks go?!), I figured it was as good a time as any to see how those four goals went.

Get on a regular, normal-person schedule. This... never really happened. It's embarrassing and if I think too much about it, I feel like an absolute failure. Why? Well, I stay up too late and sleep too late, which throws off my eating patterns and does nothing to improve my health. I'm absolutely terrible at waking up in the morning, mostly because I have no reason to do so. It's so easy to hit snooze five hundred times when the only 'obligation' I have most days is to look for jobs... something I despise so much, I sleep in to avoid it. Somehow, this has to change. I feel that if I could just get a handle on my sleeping habits, everything else would be easier to fit into place. Epic fail.

Journal more and work through some of my recurring 'issues'. I did this a few times, but not nearly as often as I had planned. My Joy Juice prompts are piling up in my inbox and I really can't tell why I'm not making them a priority. The one major issue I did journal about -- my inability to ask for and/or receive help -- ended where it started, with confusion as to why I'm physically and mentally incapable reach out to my friends when I'm going through a rough time. But, writing about it did help a bit. Mild success, could've been better.

Read more. Considering my reading frequency was hovering around never, I was bound to make this a success. I just posted about this on Friday, so you know how it went. Success!

Jazz up this space. I got a proper web address and tweaked a few things, but for monetary reasons I didn't look into a new redesign. While I'm happy with my current layout and could probably fashion a new one for myself, I wanted to get something really snazzy, but it'll have to wait until I find a job. Mostly a success!

There you have it! I'd say I did pretty well, considering I kind of forgot these halfway through the summer. I'm hoping to get into my journaling very soon -- I just have to start making a habit of it, either daily or weekly.

How was your summer overall? Did you have any goals? How did they go?

September.

{♥}

September is going to be lovely. It's bringing the wedding of one of my closest friends this Friday, which means that this month will be forever memorable. It's bringing the annual free music festival to our neighboring county. It's bringing back all things pumpkin-flavored (including the PSL from Starbucks!), cooler weather, cardigans, job-searching, and plenty of time with my friends and boyfriend.

But first, let's check in on those monthly goals and make some new ones for the month.

Get healthy. Not really. I should've been, but wasn't. The only healthy habit I picked up was taking bike rides in the evening now that the weather is cooler.

Work on my anxiety. Yes, little by little. In general, I've felt less anxious about life, which I guess is a sign of improvement.

Live in the moment. Yes.

Stay in touch. Really good! I saw or talked to all of my close friends this month - I was actually pretty social in August. Still, I want to improve more on sending e-mails, letters, or having random text conversations.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Yup.

Goals for August: complete VEDA (I only missed one day); catch up on journaling; try the emotional mushy mush talk again with E; really and truly work on my health/schedule; go to the dentist; get a hair cut.

Oops, those didn't go so well. I never found time for the sappy discussion with E (though I tried on several occasions and chickened out), I didn't stick to the healthy schedule I set out for myself, and I still haven't been to the dentist. Yikes.

Goals for September: find a job (or at least put a lot of effort into finding one); go to the dentist; try to be as anxiety-free as possible for my friend's wedding; visit Lyndsay at my alma mater; finish decorating my room.

bye july, hello august.

{♥}

I feel like I blinked and July was gone. The month kicked off with a party down the shore at Ash and Cort's that I attended with E, which was loads of fun. E and I "celebrated" our six-month-versary (by which I basically mean, it happened and neither of us made a big deal out of it), and I attended a few parties with him and got to know his friends a little better.

Throughout the month I was also heading up a project that I can't talk about here, but which just finished up at the end of the month. That was giving me a lot of stress because I was coordinating everything and wasn't sure if people would be into it, but in the end, everyone was and the finished product is going to be fantastic.

Other than that, I spent a lot of time with E, saw Harry Potter and cried my face off, finally got a blog domain, and wished it would be just a little less hot out. I can't really believe more that half the year is gone and there's only one month left of summer, but there it is.

August is probably going to be relatively low-key again, though it should pick up around the midway mark. I have a lot of little things to do to prep for BFF Wedding #1 - get my hair cut, get fitted for my bridesmaid dress, figure out my jewelry situation, and decide if the size 8.5 or size 9 shoes fit better. This weekend is crazy busy, next weekend is shaping up to be busy, I'm going to see Ke$ha on the 19th, and E goes back to school (aka, back to living 20 minutes from me) at the very end of the month. So there's quite a lot going on, actually. Plus, I'm doing VEDA! And reading Harry Potter! And continuing the Summer Photo Challenge!

Anyway, now it's goal check-in time.

Get healthy. Yes and no. I’m trying to stop eating sugar again, but that only happened towards the very end of the month. I did make a schedule for myself but I have not been following it at all.

Work on my anxiety. The only thing I’ve really been doing is working on my tolerance level. Instead of letting anticipatory anxiety get to me, I push through it, breathe, and let it pass. This has allowed me to attend many things without second guessing myself or cancelling before I even get there, which I used to do a lot.

Live in the moment. Yes. Particularly when I’m with E, because I only see him once a week and during the rest of the week, I miss him a lot. When we’re actually together, I make an effort to be in the moment.

Stay in touch. Bad, bad, bad. Just… bad. The only people I saw a lot of were E (obviously) and Natalie. So August will be my month to get in touch and hopefully make plans with everyone.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. It didn’t really come into play this month.

Goals for July: make a dentist appointment; grow out the rest of my nails (almost there!); be more forthcoming about my emotions in my relationship (I tried and failed); apply to jobs; spend less time on the internet; stop spending money unless absolutely necessary.

Goals for August: complete VEDA; catch up on journaling; try the emotional mushy mush talk again with E; really and truly work on my health/schedule; go to the dentist; get a hair cut.

How was your July? Looking forward to August?

bye june, hi july.

{♥}
June was pretty quiet for me, actually – the biggest event was Danielle’s bridal shower. I spent the week before shopping for a gift with Natalie, invading Lyndsay’s closet for a cute dress to wear (since I decided I hated everything I owned), and helping put together favors. It was so much fun, and now we’re planning her bachelorette party. The wedding is just about two months away, which I can barely believe.

I battled another Mystery Illness this month – it started with me half-losing my voice, but then developed into an annoying cough. My doctor told me it was allergies, which I was only grateful for because it meant I wasn’t actually sick.

Some other noteworthy moments included getting tipsy with my mom and brother on two separate occasions, watching Modern Family with E and loving it, spending Father’s Day with E’s family, relaxing in the backyard while reading, and a going-away party for Mark. I’m still struggling to get my healthy habits back on track, but it’s slowly coming together.

Goal check-in time!

Get healthy. Not really. I'm getting back on the wagon for good this month, though, because I have no choice.

Work on my anxiety. Not actively, no. Mostly I've just been forcing myself to push through the anticipatory stress because once I get to where I'm going, everything's fine. It's been helpful, but not much of an effort.

Live in the moment. Yes! Although the month flew by, I distinctly remember stopping my mind and focusing on the present many, many times this month. The funny thing is, I always breathe more and stress less when I do this... it's a habit I definitely should continue to develop.

Stay in touch. Yes! Everyone's been busy, but I've been exchanging e-mails all month. Hopefully I'll get to connect with everyone in person in July!

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Yes and no. In actual situations where other people might judge me, I didn't care. But I let my insecurities take over when I'm alone and trying to fall asleep at night, specifically in regards to my relationship and what E thinks of me. It's been really tiresome, actually.

Goals for June: finish my daily life plan and start implementing it; make a gynecologist appointment; make a dentist appointment; try a new recipe; grow out the rest of my nails; be more forthcoming about my emotions in my relationship; spend as much time outside as possible; apply to jobs.

(Cross-outs mean I reached my goal; italics means I kinda reached my goal.)

Goals for July: make a dentist appointment; grow out the rest of my nails; be more forthcoming about my emotions in my relationship; apply to jobs; spend less time on the internet; stop spending money unless absolutely necessary.

summer goals.

{♥}
I’m constantly making goals around here, which is weird because until recently, I thought making goals was a little silly. I figured I would be better off living life day-to-day. I didn’t see this as aimless but more as taking things as they come and trusting that what was ‘supposed’ to happen in my life would.

There are a few goals I’ve set for this month, most of them rolling over from previous months. Instead of limiting myself to June, I’m going to allocate some bigger ones to summer. The little ones – like making doctor’s appointments – I will still intend on accomplishing by the end of the month (it’s on my calendar to make those appointments this week, so I’m putting my foot down).

Without further ado, here are my Summer Goals.

Get on a regular, normal-person schedule. I’ve finally taken the initiative to identify a more specific set of goals than just “get healthy” – I have a subset of goals and how exactly I plan to achieve them. This one is absolutely crucial because not only do I need to start feeling better but one of my best friends is getting married in September and I need to be in tip-top shape to be a supportive bridesmaid and friend.

Journal more and work through some of my recurring 'issues'. Working on Joy Juice has already kick-started this for me. I adore having specific prompts and questions to think and write about. However, there are also some issues (about things like my past and my personality quirks) that keep my brain up at night. Writing about them will help me work through them and this summer is my chance to do just that. I don’t expect to settle everything, but I hope to tie up a few loose ends in my mind.

Read more. Simple, really. I plan on taking the “to-read” list I have on Goodreads, print it out, write down call numbers, and make my way to the library a few times every month.

Jazz up this space. My blog is almost three and a half, so it’s high time I got a big-girl web address and a pretty new layout.

Like many others, I see summer as a time to really tackle some goals. I don't know if it's the nicer weather or what, but I find energy and inspiration in these three months. Let's see what the summer of 2011 will bring for me.

resolutions for 2011.

I know I said I'd have a recap of my New Year's Eve today, but the pictures still aren't up on Facebook and I want so badly to include a few. But, pictures or not, the post will be up tomorrow.

*

Last year, I didn’t make any resolutions. I think I was pretty intent on 2010 being a little lackluster, but I also didn’t really have any specific goals. That doesn’t mean, however, that I made any less progress. Although there were no set goals, I had one overall theme in mind: figure out my life.

I would say I was pretty successful. There were several things about which I put my foot down – missing college, my relationship, an important friendship, my health, and my anxiety. I let myself heal from the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling from all of those things happening all at once. And now, I’m ready to face this brand new year with confidence and a smile on my face, even though I know it’s going to be tough.

Here are my resolutions for the year, which are general and non-quantifiable as usual because I have a terrible time meeting very specific goals.

Get healthy. Oh, how I say this over and over until I’m blue in the face. You’ve probably read it a million times by now, which means I’ve said it to myself a billion times. This. Needs. To. Happen. No more excuses.

Work on my anxiety. Admitting that my anxiety is a problem that I need to actively deal with was really hard for me to do, and even harder will be the process of actually going through with it. But I will do it.

Live in the moment. Lately it’s come to my attention that I think way too far ahead of myself for my own good. The biggest example has been my brain being all atwitter with the what-ifs surrounding this thing between E and I when, really, I should just be enjoying myself. (You’ll be happy to know I already put this resolution to work and for the love of all things holy, it was amazing to not be fretting about anything other than the moment when I was in it.)

Stay in touch. Sometimes my life and thoughts suck me into a time warp and weeks go by before I realize, wow, I haven’t seen or even been in touch with my closest friends. I know their lives are like that too, but considering I actually have the time, I’m going to make the effort to reach out and keep up with their lives.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Plain and simple.

I'm looking forward to all of the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead of me, because it will only mean good things for my life. Bring it on, 2011.

welcome september.

Happy September! I almost can't believe it, this summer flew by so fast. I'm pretty sure I felt the same about spring, so I guess this year is flying by in general. Not sure how I feel about that, considering things aren't improving as quickly as I'd like, but if this year moving forward means progress being made, then bring it on!

My brain's been a bit of a mess lately and I'm not really sure why. There are a bunch of things I want to write about but it's almost as if I'd rather not. It's a struggle between keeping it bottled up - and therefore not making it real - or letting it all out so I don't go crazy. One of those things is being so jealous (in a mostly good way) of my friends, most of whom are going to graduate school, medical school, or becoming a teacher. It kind of blows my mind, actually. So to take my mind away from how much I'd rather be any one of them (even if it means tons of hard work), I'll focus on some goals for the month.

Get healthy. Yes, this is on the list again, but only because it's a constant work in progress. I've been doing better in many ways but am far from feeling 100%. Going out is still a bit of a chore, though I've been pushing myself more and realizing a lot of it is anticipatory stress. My diet has improved and there were a few days when I felt fantastic; then again, the other day all I ate was greasy take-out and pretzel M&Ms, and that ended pretty poorly. Mainly, though, I need to get better for goal number two, which is...

Find a job. Theoretically I should have had a job by now. Sometimes I feel completely ashamed when I look back and realize how much time has passed, how long I put things off, but I can only focus on today and the future. Maybe I spent too much time wallowing in self-pity, dealing with sickness and a handful of emotional things, or maybe I needed all this time. Whatever the case, I'm extremely restless and my parents are starting to drop more and more hints. Plus, I'm tired of everyone asking me about it, so I've decided that this is the month when I'm going to actively look for and pursue job openings. (Also, I'm in need of a new phone and want one with a costly monthly plan that I can't really afford on the itty bitty salary I'm making now. But that's just a minor, icing-on-the-cake reason for getting serious about it.)

Figure out which TV shows to watch this season. I can't have all of my goals be serious, now can I? I love looking up the calendars for when TV shows are premiering, deciding which ones I want to watch religiously. Last year I didn't stick to any of my shows, so I really want to pick a few that I will definitely watch. On top of that, I have twenty-one days to catch up on Glee until the premiere, and judge me all you want, but sometimes silly things need to take some kind of priority.

September will also bring a lot of fun, including a visit to see one of my friends at her new graduate school, attending a local music festival with friends, and a Labor Day block party to cap off my summer officially. I have a feeling it's going to be a lovely fall.