Week in Review.

Whew, what a week! Blogging every day is tough when so much is going on. I didn't expect to be so busy but everything should die down by next week, at which point I should have posts with a bit more substance. Because I didn't really touch on all that's going on, here's a recap of my week and a look forward at my weekend.

1. Over the weekend, I went to Erik's and spent time with him and his friends. I watched him play hockey on Saturday morning - I went out for coffee and sat in my car, windows rolled down, while reading and watching them play.
2. On Monday, I stopped over at my cousin's house because she had her appendix out last Friday (which had me worried sick). Her grandparents and college roommate had also stopped by, so it was a nice little gathering. By then, my cousin was up and out of bed a little bit, and we all enjoyed pizza for dinner. I brought her an Edible Arrangements bouquet and also bought a few things at Target that she could do in bed: a coloring book with crayons, a journal and pens, and a puzzle book.
3. I was back there on Tuesday because she was going stir crazy and wanted to watch Christmas movies to give her something to get excited about. We watched The Santa Clause while snuggled up in bed - it was perfect.
4. Wednesday and Thursday were pretty uneventful. As I've mentioned about ten times by now, I'm finishing up my final set of work for my part-time job. It was a small division of a publishing company that they're now dissolving and outsourcing somewhere else. That's what I spent most of those two days doing and finally, the end is in sight!
5. I have a very lazy weekend ahead of me. Erik's coming over today when I get home from work so we can have an at-home date night, then tomorrow I have a dentist's appointment (yuck) at 12:15. After that? Nothing. Well, more work, of course, but I have no other plans. I might just have to go back to my cousin's house for another cuddle session (and to keep her from going nuts from having to be at home all week).

How was your week? What are you doing this weekend?

Living at Home.

Sometimes, my friends tell me all of the reasons I should be happy I'm still living at home. Mainly, that I'm saving money and that trumps everything else. Except it doesn't.

A few weeks ago, I decided I was going to take a seasonal retail job at the mall where one of Erik's friends works. My part-time job is ending as soon as I finish this last set of work and I haven't had much luck starting my hunt for a new full-time job. It seemed like a good transition from one part-time source of income into another.

I was happy with my decision and thought I was being smart. Yes, I might be a little better off job searching "full-time" after my 9-to-5 and making sure I snag a new job, but I figured I could pick up some extra cash for a few months while also pursuing that goal.

Well, tonight I discussed it at family dinner, because on Thursdays my brother comes home to visit. My brother immediately bashed my entire decision, saying that working in this particular store is degrading and stupid and not worth the money. My dad chimed in about how I have to take this job seriously and actually show up because I know the person who hired me. My mom - who already knew - stayed silent, which is her way of saying she doesn't think it's a good idea but she knows a lot better than to voice that opinion.

This is why I can't stay at home anymore. My family means well, I understand. They know I'm intelligent and can do great things, so they struggle when I'm not meeting their "successful life" expectations. I've had some hiccups in my life thus far and am trying to navigate them the best that I can. Instead of support, I receive negativity, lack of confidence, and silence.

Sometimes I wonder if they'll ever be happy. Not because I want to make them happy, but because I'm curious, as it seems impossible to please them. Even if I was doing what they think is best, there would just be something else that would come into focus as something I was doing wrong.

Being here and being criticized is not worth it. I would much rather "throw my money away" on an apartment to live with Erik who literally has never breathed a single negative word about anything I've decided to do or not do. My peace of mind is far more important than any amount of money I would save.

Wordless Wednesday: Autumn in New Jersey.

Goals: October Recap & November Intentions.

My October goals were... a total bust. I think I jinxed it by posting here and making a huge deal out of it again.

The No-Spend October crashed and burned. Hard. I spent money left and right - on excessive birthday gifts for Erik, on coffee every other day, on fast food meals and Halloween care packages for friends. My sugar fast? Never happened. Seriously, I didn't even go one day without sugar. Journaling every day was my biggest success, and even that wasn't actually every day.

So what am I doing for November? I'm taking another swing at my no-spend challenge and putting more effort in this time. Other than that, I don't have the time to focus on much else. My part-time, at-home contracting job is almost over and I'm tied up with all of that work, I'm planning to work at the mall at a seasonal retail job, and work is going to get hectic with my bosses taking vacation at the end of the month. Plus, I still need to get down to business in terms of my job search.

It's always a little bit rough to stop my spending habit. A few tips I have:

• Avoid retail shopping at all costs. If I stop going in Target, I will stop spending all of my money there. I don't look at flyers or coupons unless I absolutely need something, like medicine.
• Delete all advertising e-mails. I get a lot of e-mails from coupon sites and websites offering sales and deals. Normally, that's fantastic because I find some really good stuff. However, during my no-spend challenges, I delete everything as quickly as possible. The only exceptions are things that catch my eye as really, really good deals or a gift idea for someone.
• Make my lunch and coffee at home. This takes a little extra effort the night before but it makes it so easy to say no to going out to lunch for food and coffee. Also, I save the gas money I normally spend driving around.

When I did this successfully in August, it took a week or so to get in the swing of it. I did spend quite a bit this past weekend, but part of that was a get-well gift for my cousin and dinner out with Erik. For the rest of the month, I'm going to close my wallet unless it's for something absolutely necessary.

How do you save money? Are you good at it? What do you spend the most money on?

Scary.

There were a lot of topics I considered writing about tonight, but now there's a shooter at the Garden State Plaza and all I can do is feel sick to my stomach.

Nothing is safe anymore. Not that anything ever was truly safe, I understand that. Hell, there were isolated incidents at my local malls where girls were followed or some people had their arms slashed by creepy people hanging out in the restroom hallways. I get it, the world is unsafe. But this is too much.

The Garden State Plaza mall is terrifyingly huge when you're adding an armed man to the mix. He could be anywhere and there are thousands of customers and employees stuck inside. It is absolutely frightening and is making me seriously reconsider my idea of working a seasonal retail job.

The fact that simple decisions – like deciding to take a job at the mall – are being challenged by the thought, well what if there's a mass shooting, is downright scary. That's the only word for it.

I don't have a lot more to say because I'm not well-educated enough to make a solid argument. All I know is we have to do something differently. We have to find a way to make it harder to buy guns and ammunition and we have to figure out a new system to deal with the mental health of our citizens. We have to fix this.

Actual story here: http://newjersey.news12.com/news/shots-fired-inside-garden-state-plaza-injuries-unclear-1.6379579

Sunday Night Blues.

I've talked about this before, but I have a really tough time with Sundays.

It all began when I started my new job. I dreaded Monday, and Erik and I would part ways for the weekend, so Sunday became this huge suck-fest. Usually I cried myself to sleep, be it for five minutes or a half hour, because feeling crappy triggered all my negative thoughts and... well, you get the picture. It wasn't a good time.

Eventually I got used to my job and coped better with saying goodbye to Erik. I settled into my schedule and things were good for a while. Then Erik got a job where he works Sunday through Thursday and I found myself thrown back into the cycle of hating Sundays.

It's not as drastic as it used to be; I don't cry about it anymore. But it's almost like I have Saturday and Sunday blues. On Saturday, when we're getting ready for bed, I realize our time together is over, even though I have a whole day left of my own personal weekend. Then I experience normal weekend-ending Sunday blues.

I try to balance it out by embracing my Sundays, whether that means running errands, doing chores, completing work for my second job, or allowing myself to have a mope-fest and laying in bed all day. If I'm at Erik's house, I usually get out of bed at a decent hour to drive home and am forced to start my day, which is good. Now that it's football season, I'm trying to become a serious Giants fan (yeah, I know, I picked the wrong year for that) and watch the games, either alone or with Lyndsay and her family. It prevents me from hating my life all the way through Sunday, but the nights are still not fun.

Once I'm living with Erik – which, mind you, is still a long ways away – I think I'll handle it better. By that point I should have a new job and a shorter commute anyway, but the worst part of my blues is feeling the absence of Erik after spending such a short amount of time with him. At least having company on Sunday nights will make me feel less dread-y about the week ahead. I just need to have a little patience and know that things will get better soon.

Do you get the Sunday night blues? What do you do to compete with them? Or, if you don't have them, what's your secret?!

Let the Holidays Begin

Disclaimer: I am one of those people who consider November 1st the start of the holiday season. I'm not breaking out my Christmas music collection juuuust yet, but I sure will prep the playlist, start making a gift list for all of my friends, and look for deals on holiday decorations.

I haven't always felt this way, and I know there are a lot of people who feel that Christmas continues to infiltrate our lives earlier and earlier in the year. A few years ago I used to rally against celebrating anything Christmas-related before Thanksgiving. And I will admit, it was a little over the top to see TV commercials for layaway programs in September, but I understood the point - if you're on a limited budget, you sometimes have to start putting your kids' gifts of layaway four months back.

In recent years, however, I've come to understand it a bit better. From a marketing perspective, the longer holiday items are on the shelves, the more opportunities there are for sales. Plus, most of what is out this early is decorations - lights, lawn ornaments, wreaths, and trees. This makes sense because you (usually) decorate before doing anything else, and if you have a limited budget, it might be easier to buy a few sets of lights and lawn decorations back in October.

Now that Halloween is done with and we've entered October, I consider this the holiday season. I mean, Halloween is a holiday (of sorts) and is the first big one since the summer time. November and December are focused on family and gratitude as we prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I feel that's why I stopped having a grudge against listening to Christmas music before sitting down to that big turkey dinner - by listening to holiday tunes and starting to buy gifts, nobody was forgetting about Thanksgiving. Or at least I wasn't, and that was all that mattered.

Do you get overly excited for the holidays? Did you break out the Christmas music yet?

Friday Four.

Happy first day of November and NaBloPoMo!

Considering the first of the month falls on a Friday, today's post is going to be a simple list of some really awesome things around the internet you should check out.

1. Kayley is a friend of mine from college who set up an Etsy shop for her photography about a year ago. Her stuff is really great – if you're looking for some beautiful nature prints, I would definitely suggest checking out her shop! (Some of my favorites are Glass Lanterns and Take a Seat.)

2. Your Super Awesome Life. Ashley has some really awesome products and programs out there right now, including Motivation Miracle and Cake for Breakfast (aren't those the best names ever?!). I've worked with Ashley before and it's definitely worth the investment in yourself to get her to help light a fire underneath you so you can start working for your best life ever. Not enough room in your budget right now? Sign up for 30 Cups of Magic, a FREE daily helping of inspiration in your inbox. November's theme is gratitude, so get on that list!

3. Spell Block Tango is a YouTube video I stumbled upon on Facebook that combines the magic of Disney villains with the awesomeness of Cell Block Tango. Plus, Amber Riley's in it!

4. My fellow BiSC-uit, Almie, wrote this post on Thought Catalog that made me nod furiously the whole way through. I'm all about making people smile and sometimes, we can be nice to people in such simple ways.

Coming in November...

Sometimes you just have to go big or go home, right?

NaBloPoMo, I'm coming for you.

See you Friday!