2012 Resolutions.

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Happy 2012, friends!

Did you have a wonderful New Year's Eve? I did, though it was a bit too low-key for me. I spent the evening having dinner with Erik's family and hanging out with his friend who came over to play video games. The last half hour was spent just with Erik, watching TV and flipping to one of the NYE specials three minutes before the new year. It was nice, but a bit anticlimactic - it felt like any other day.

Now that the new year is here, it's time for goal-setting!

12 Changes

For 2012, I'm doing my resolutions a bit differently -- I'll be participating in 12 Changes in 12 Months, the brain child of Katherine and Stephany. A huge group of us (50+, I believe!) is setting monthly goals so that we can keep our focus on each one. Instead of a big list of goals to tackle all at once - which, for me, usually means a few get ignored - I'm setting up a list of habits I want to develop to make my life better.

So far, I only have a list of nine things. But that's the added benefit of this method of goal-setting: I don't have to figure those last three out right away because they can be accomplished later this year!

1. Take vitamins/probiotic daily
2. Exercise at least three days a week
3. Craft at least once a week
4. Journal daily
5. Read every day (from a book, not a blog/the internet)
6. Reduce sugar intake
7. Reduce processed food intake
8. Limit time spent online
9. Put at least $10 from every paycheck in savings

10. ???

11. ???

12. ???

For the month of January, I'm focusing on crafting at least once a week. I already did a lot of craft projects in December to prepare for the holidays, so it should be simple to keep up the habit.

Digital Day Off

In addition to my 12 Changes, I was inspired by Amy to take part in a "digital day off" every month. She's choosing to take a complete break from technology on the first of every month; I'll be doing the same, except on the first Sunday of every month. Which means that yes, I've already done this for January!

It was pretty simple this month, because I was still at Erik's for most of the day. I will admit that I 'cheated' a bit and checked my e-mail in the morning and at night, but I'm planning for all future digital days off to be completely internet-free for twenty-four hours.

A Goal a Month

And finally, for each month I'll be setting one specific, to-do-list type goal. These specific goals probably won't be set far in advance, but instead at the beginning of each month. For January, it's going to the dentist. Despite setting this as a goal every month last year, I still never made my way there. It's finally time because I have a cavity that's freaking me out and because I need to put on my big girl pants and be responsible for my health.

What goals are you setting this year? Are you doing things differently in hopes it'll work better than past years?

ready for april.

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As I mentioned yesterday, I am looking forward to April. Warm weather, Easter crafts, plans to see my friends, and a little surprise project in the works had me eager to turn the page on my calendar.

This is definitely going to be a big month for me. After reading some books about being a bridesmaid*, it really hit me that my involvement in two weddings in the next twelve months was going to mean being healthy and as anxiety-free as possible. I'm starting to take my goals more seriously anyway, but having another impetus is always a plus.

I tend to haphazardly declare the beginning of every month as "my month" to make improvements, but the problem is that I make that decision the night before. This time around, I've had my mind set on really starting in April and practiced eating less sugar, eating more fruits and veggies, drinking more water, and exercising this week. Now that it's April 1st, it's time to kick off the training wheels. While I'm still lacking things like a formal list of goals and any sort of meal planning, I can make do with what I have and develop a better laid-out plan over the weekend.

What will this plan entail? The usual. Drink more water. Stay away from sugar completely, or at least as much as possible (more about that next week). Start trying different grains instead of defaulting to pasta. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Recognize when I'm actually hungry and not just bored. Exercise daily. Get back to sleeping when the rest of the world sleeps.

But first, a recap of how March went for me.

Get healthy. Getting there. Though giving up sugar has been hit-or-miss, it has helped me be more aware of what I’m eating on a daily basis. I’ve been trying a lot harder to eat healthy by avoiding sugar as well as fattier foods. I also started taking probiotics every day, and although I haven’t felt much of a difference, I have faith. I’ve been drinking a lot of tea lately, so my water consumption has probably gone up, and I started easing myself back into exercising this past week.

Work on my anxiety. Oh yes, my loves. Including my visit to Melissa’s at the end of last month, I took two – two! – successful, anxiety-free, longer-than-an-hour trips with E in the car with me. I don’t talk about details of my IBS on here much, but for whatever reason my nerves mess with my stomach on car rides to my destination, resulting in at least one pit stop. Having someone else in the car usually amplifies the problem because I become more aware of and worried about it. But these two trips? Not. a. stop. (Okay, one stop on the way to Katie’s, because it was my bladder’s turn to be a whiny bitch.) It doesn’t seem like a big deal and is a little TMI, but honestly the fact that I made these two trips without incident speaks volumes.

Live in the moment. Not really. The month flew by because I was always looking ahead to the next big thing. When I was actually in those moments, I was worried or preoccupied. One of the only times I recall really being present was when it was extremely warm and I dragged a chair outside and read books, skimmed magazines, and just looked up and observed the clouds.

Stay in touch. Yup! I was lucky enough to see quite a few people this month, including all of my (local) dance girls. Anyone I couldn’t see in person this month received Facebook messages, e-mails, and texts so I could stay up-to-date on their lives.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Yes and no. For the most part, I was good about this one. But some of my more emotional days were filled with self-conscious worrying about my personality and life choices, particularly how they affected my friendships and my relationship.

March's goals fared better than February's. I (slowly) started eating healthier and cut out some sugar. If you count Guinness cupcakes with Bailey’s frosting as a “meal,” then I tried one new recipe this month, and I made it through two books about how to be a kick-ass bridesmaid. As for applying to jobs, getting my butt to the dentist, and cooking actual meals… those didn’t go so well.

Goals for April: make a written-out plan to improve my life; try two new recipes; schedule that damn dentist’s appointment (seriously! I have multiple cavities that I’m aware of!); apply to jobs; break my "addiction" to sugar and snacking; read at least one book; start replying to blog comments; decide what to do about self-hosting (switch to Wordpress or stick with Blogger).

I have a really good feeling about this month, so I'm ready for it to start. Let's go, April!

*Yes, I actually read books about being a bridesmaid, for a couple of reasons. One, despite being obsessed with weddings, I've never been in or even attended one, so I wanted to get more informed about what a bridesmaid actually does. Two, I like to be prepared in general. Three, yes, I am just that excited about it.

farewell to february.

February was chock full of fun activities that made it feel weeks longer but also that it had passed in the blink of an eye. I mean, the Superbowl really happened this month? It feels like that was ages ago.

I attended a Superbowl party where I rooted half-heartedly for the Steelers and met some of E's closest friends. I was knocked over the head with nostalgia when I went to a high school dance competition to support the dance team that Natalie oversees at her school - the stage makeup, team jackets, and heel stretches had me yearning for the stage. E and I celebrated an early Valentine's Day which was absolute perfection, even if we did burn the chicken a bit when we made dinner.

I celebrated my mother's birthday over carrot cake and belly laughs about how ridiculous my father can be. I was grilled about my new boyfriend by my family when we celebrated a belated Christmas with my cousin and his girlfriend, but it was all in fun as we sipped on whipped cream vodka mixed with gingerale. I closed the month by dressing up as a murderess and being arm candy for a tough Boston cop for Melissa's Oscar party (and using my super guessing power to win the ballot contest and beat E by one point, as evidenced by the picture in the collage above).

There were lots of things making me smile this month: beautiful flowers from E; a care package from my Blog Valentine; the love letters I wrote and sent to my friends; seeing my friend Emily come home and be well enough to exercise by taking walks up and down the street; gushing over wedding details with Natalie and Danielle, including one of them finding THE DRESS (eeee!).

Although I have yet to actively work on my issues, I am incredibly proud of myself this month simply because I conquered anxiety on a handful of occasions, specifically on the day of the Superbowl party and concerning the trip to the Oscar party. The former entailed going to a new place and meeting new people; the latter involved making a long trip with someone else in the car when I usually prefer driving alone. Although there was a little bit of anticipatory stress, I managed to make my way through both without a problem, which doesn't seem like much but is truly a major feat for me.

Time for a goal check-in:

Get healthy. Absolutely not. I was too busy, ate too much junk, and had no time to figure out a good schedule.

Work on my anxiety. Mostly yes. I started reading through my anxiety book and taking notes, and as noted above, learned to overcome the anxiety linked to my anticipation of things.

Live in the moment. Most of the time, no. I let myself get caught up in my calendar, thinking of what I'd be doing next weekend instead of focusing on where I was at that moment. There were little moments, though - mostly during time spent with E - when I was completely present and content.

Stay in touch. Yes. I sent out love letters, saw most of my friends, and made plans to see others very soon.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Yes and no, but mostly no. I met a lot of E's friends and it's difficult not to worry what they think of me. I can also feel my inhibitions creeping up about how I think I'm really weird and can't understand why anyone normal would want to date me. Yeah, yikes.

January's Goals were a complete flop except for the love letter project. So, I'm making all the remaining ones my February goals.

Goals for this month: start eating healthy (specifically, cutting sugar out of my diet); apply to jobs; schedule a dental appointment; learn to cook at least two new meals; read at least one book.

I'm so stoked for March, mainly because it means spring is on its way. No more snow!

so long, january; hello february.

Aside from the heaps of snow Mother Nature bestowed upon my town, resulting in a sore back and a sick Cait, January has been very kind to me.

I got a midnight kiss from and started dating a wonderful guy who is really a breath of fresh air in my life. We’ve spent this month getting to know each other even more and tackling the (very massive) List of Movies Cait Has Never Seen But Should Have. He’s supportive and kind, likes the same music I do, and is willing to eat the Lifesavers I don’t want even if he hates the flavor.

I turned 24 and reflected on being in such a better place this year than last. My emotional debts about many things were settled and this month only reinforced a lot of things. Reconnections were abound – catching up with Ashley, a wedding-obsessed discussion with my two engaged best friends, wine and laughter with my cousin, closure and a point of understanding with Mark, and discussions that necessitated my Safety Scarf with Melissa. I also made new connections in the wee early hours of 2011 with the girls who’ll be my fellow bridesmaids in Natalie’s wedding.

I’ve grown to think less and feel more, to live in the moment and not worry so much. I’ve overcome, to a small degree, the stress I get from traveling. I’ve become quite the texting pro, though I’m sure E would tell you that I’m still a slowpoke. I’ve felt lighter and happier, believing more that things will get figured out and less like my life is over.

And now, a quick resolution check-in:

Get healthy. Nope. I was still in holiday recovery mode and then I came down with a cold, so all hope has been lost for now.

Work on my anxiety. Somewhat. I’ve started re-reading an anxiety book that I read a while back before I thought it applied to me. Now I’m reading it with a fresh outlook and hoping it will be a helpful precursor to going into therapy.

Live in the moment. Yes, and it’s been wonderful. I still over-think things in my spare time, but when it comes to the actual moment, I just go with my gut.

Stay in touch. Yes and no. I’ve been good about seeing mostly everyone, but not so much on following up. Ideally I would like to be in communication with my friends more frequently, even if it’s just through a random text or e-mail, and I haven’t accomplished that.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. For the most part, yes. I’ve been honest with E about my health/anxiety and have acted like a complete goofball in front of him without a care. But, again, in my spare time I worry about it a bit.

Some additional goals I have for myself this month: successfully complete a secret project for my friends; start eating healthy; apply to jobs (and hopefully get one!); schedule a dental appointment; learn to cook at least two new meals; read at least one book.

I'm just as excited for February as I was for January. Let's keep it going, 2011.

resolutions for 2011.

I know I said I'd have a recap of my New Year's Eve today, but the pictures still aren't up on Facebook and I want so badly to include a few. But, pictures or not, the post will be up tomorrow.

*

Last year, I didn’t make any resolutions. I think I was pretty intent on 2010 being a little lackluster, but I also didn’t really have any specific goals. That doesn’t mean, however, that I made any less progress. Although there were no set goals, I had one overall theme in mind: figure out my life.

I would say I was pretty successful. There were several things about which I put my foot down – missing college, my relationship, an important friendship, my health, and my anxiety. I let myself heal from the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling from all of those things happening all at once. And now, I’m ready to face this brand new year with confidence and a smile on my face, even though I know it’s going to be tough.

Here are my resolutions for the year, which are general and non-quantifiable as usual because I have a terrible time meeting very specific goals.

Get healthy. Oh, how I say this over and over until I’m blue in the face. You’ve probably read it a million times by now, which means I’ve said it to myself a billion times. This. Needs. To. Happen. No more excuses.

Work on my anxiety. Admitting that my anxiety is a problem that I need to actively deal with was really hard for me to do, and even harder will be the process of actually going through with it. But I will do it.

Live in the moment. Lately it’s come to my attention that I think way too far ahead of myself for my own good. The biggest example has been my brain being all atwitter with the what-ifs surrounding this thing between E and I when, really, I should just be enjoying myself. (You’ll be happy to know I already put this resolution to work and for the love of all things holy, it was amazing to not be fretting about anything other than the moment when I was in it.)

Stay in touch. Sometimes my life and thoughts suck me into a time warp and weeks go by before I realize, wow, I haven’t seen or even been in touch with my closest friends. I know their lives are like that too, but considering I actually have the time, I’m going to make the effort to reach out and keep up with their lives.

Be me and stop worrying what other people think. Plain and simple.

I'm looking forward to all of the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead of me, because it will only mean good things for my life. Bring it on, 2011.

resolutions check-in: month one.

It's already halfway through February, which is a little mind-blowing. Five weeks of the semester have gone by. That's crazy! I think it's due to not seeing my friends as often, just going to and from class, doing work, hanging with The Boy... every. single. day.

This week I've been ahead on my work, so I took some time tonight to organize my money, something I've been meaning to do for a while. I've got a couple of checks and some birthday cash that has been sitting in my drawer, waiting to be deposited. Anyway, this led me to start thinking about all my resolutions. I figured I'd do a little report on where I stand, since it's just a little over a month since I made them.

1. Cut back on and potentially stop drinking diet soda.
Wow, I'm doing SO WELL on this one. Partly because I was sick in the beginning of the semester, but also just because I drink it a lot more at home than here at school. The one or two cans I did have at home... it didn't taste as awesome as it used to! I'm pretty amazed.

2. Treat my face better.
Ehh, this is going just okay. Before coming back to school, I went out and bought a new face wash and toner, and those have definitely been helping. But I still pick at my face way too much.

3. Eat. More. FIBER.
Yes! Mostly because I had to, I went out and bought dried fruits, fiber-packed cereal and granola bars, and I try to have salad or veggies for lunch every day. Lately though, I've slacked off a bit (those chicken fingers are so damn good!), and my body's starting to warn me about that.

4. Exercise, let's say, at least twice a week.
Nope. Not at all. I blame this on being sick, even though that's only a small excuse. Thanks to Natalie, I got the Dirty Dancing Workout DVD for my birthday that's just waiting to be used, so that's been my little bit of motivation.

5. Save more of my money.
Um.. I think so? My only expenses have been grocery shopping and buying little gifts for The Boy for Valentine's Day. I've done a lot of online "shopping" (throwing things into the checkout bag only to delete them or not buy them), but haven't made any purchases... yet. I didn't get a lot for my birthday - mostly money - so I wanted to splurge on something. I'm eyeing some bathing suits at Victoria's Secret, but I'm a bit weary of buying something so size-specific online. So we'll see.

6. Keep track of where my money goes.
Erm, I just got to that today. I haven't been spending anything recently, so there's not much to keep track of, but I finally set up a spreadsheet with tabs for cash, credit card charges, and my bank accounts. Yay, unnecessary organization!

7. Finally sell some gently-used items on Ebay.
Haven't gotten to this yet.

8. Get on the dean's list this semester.
As far as I can tell, this semester is going to be so much easier than those past, especially compared to last semester. I think I can really achieve this goal.

9. Read more.
Not so much. I've been bogged down with a lot of reading for my Buddhism class.

10. Get a job.
Not yet! Still gotta work on that one.

So far, so good, it seems. Wow, now I feel really accomplished. Hopefully I'll be able to make more progress by next month!

the obligatory resolutions post.

It seems as though I've forgotten to make my resolutions for 2009. This could be attributed to many things, namely, the harrowing events that went down with The Boy or possibly my affinity to sleep and not think about anything serious, ever.

In the past, I've set very general goals. This has led to allowing myself a ton of leeway in accomplishing them and, because they're not specific, I could probably say I achieved mine from last year. Not this year.

This year I'm hoping to come up with a handful of specific, but not ultra-specific goals. I can't be as broad as "being healthy," but I refuse to say "I will work out __ days a week." Let's see what I come up with.

1. Cut back on and potentially stop drinking diet soda.
I have developed an addiction to diet soda. I don't need it constantly, but there are times when I crave that taste specifically. Most people don't understand how someone can like diet soda... I guess I'm just weird special that way.

2. Treat my face better.
My discipline when it comes to specific hygiene regimens, like washing my face properly every night, is very weak. Also? I pick at my face. It's gross, but I have strange OCD tendencies with things like that: I feel the urge to scratch and pick at every little bump and scar. Meanwhile, putting my oily fingers all over my face is definitely not helping, either. So! No more picking, more washing on a daily basis with cleanser and toner.

3. Eat. More. FIBER.
As if face-picking wasn't gross enough for you, this post is quickly turning into TMI material. My family hasn't had the best digestive health, and yours truly has developed a myriad of stomach troubles. Recently it has become painfully (literally) obvious that I'm really not doing anything to remedy these problems. Basically, I eat crap food all day long, don't worry about getting enough fiber or fruits and veggies, and I KNOW I don't drink enough liquids. All this is bad news for my tummy, which becomes angrier with me each passing day.

4. Exercise, let's say, at least twice a week.
Okay, I already don't know how this one will turn out. I'm hoping that my fallout with exercise last semester was due to difficult courses and spending all my free time with The Boy and my friends. I know, two days a week sounds like a low bar to set, but keep in mind that I walk around campus all day, so I'm getting some exercise daily.

5. Save more of my money.
Whenever I have money I spend it almost immediately. I rarely take money from my savings, but at the same time, I rarely put any in. Considering I'll be a real person in a few short months, I figure I should probably get started on saving more of my money.

6. Keep track of where my money goes.
I'm really bad at this. My problem is I'm a perfectionist, and an accountant. What does that mean? Everything must balance! To the penny! Debits equal credits! Ahh! Yes, I will record how much change I have in my wallet, and in the past when I've kept track of my money, I've gotten frustrated in the process of missing five or ten cents once everything's written out.

7. Finally sell some gently-used items on Ebay.
I've got a random video game, Trivial Pursuit: 90's Edition, and a gymnastics mat that I've been holding onto and meaning to sell forever. Why haven't I gotten around to it? I'm not really sure. My mom's worried about putting our real address on Ebay (yet she has no problem if I put in on Craigslist.. wtf, mom?), I'm just really lazy in general, and I think I've convinced myself that nobody wants this crap. Problem is, the video game and board game really haven't been used much at all. They're things I bought, tried, and realized I hated. I don't feel like selling them for a few dollars at a garage sale or, even worse, simply throwing them out.

8. Get on the dean's list this semester.
Lofty goal? Possibly. This may change depending on how difficult my two 400-level courses are, but I'm working on my confidence, sucking it up and saying I can do this.

9. Read more.
When it comes down to it, I really do enjoy reading. Novels we read for school were never a chore to get through, even though my friends would sometimes have horrible reactions to certain ones. The problem is, I don't know what books to read. I desperately need suggestions - got any for me? I'm looking for anything, from the classics to some really good books by current authors. (And, before anyone says it, I really don't have any desire to read Twilight. Sorry to disappoint, but there's been way too much hype now, and I've come to just hate the idea of it.)

10. Get a job.
Seems like a "duhhhhh," but I've gotta put it down.

So those are my "top ten" resolutions, if you may. I'm sure there are more, but these are the important ones.