oh, politics.

This was too funny not to post it. My intention is not to offend - it is quite the funny picture, after all. Plus I was a pretty avid fan of Pinky and the Brain as a kid.

I don't really have much else to say at the moment, seeing as it's nearly 4am and I'm home, once again, due to a stress-induced homesickness.

Tomorrow is 20sb Vlog Day, and I really would like to have enough time to participate. We'll see how studying is going, I guess.

I do believe this is the lamest entry ever, save for the picture. A-heh.

mish mash

This might just be me, but it seems like every time I'm sick and am diagnosed, the symptoms get worse as soon as I know what they are.

Apparently, I have coxsackievirus, or hand, foot and mouth disease (HFMD). Sounds just wonderful, doesn't it? Basically, it's a random virus that usually only kids get. I guess I'm just lucky. I'm guaranteed a week's worth of sores in my entire mouth. See, prior to the doctor's visit, I just had them on my tonsils and my throat area, which is really not so bad. Really. Because now, I'm noticing all the little sores on the insides of my lips, on my gums, and on my tongue. It fucking kills.

The only thing so far to successfully soothe the soreness is drinking green tea with honey. I tried Vitamin C drops, zinc, hot tea (not green tea).. nothing. Only the green tea. At least there's something helping me, I guess.

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It is incredibly difficult to be the optimistic one in a relationship. I'm getting tired of repeating myself, of pointing out every positive only to be met with an unenthusiastic "yeah, I guess." I pride myself on thinking positive and not letting things get me down, and whenever possible, spreading that way of thinking to others. I guess this is a challenge of how strong my optimistic tendencies are.

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I've been seeing a lot of talk about politics recently in the blogosphere. I have to mention that I too am scared pretty shitless by Sarah Palin. Within minutes of seeing her on my TV giving her VP acceptance speech, I wanted to punch her in the face. That sentiment is only being multiplied as I find out more about her. To think that, if McCain gets elected and (heaven forbid) something happens to him, she would be next in line? I think I just seriously crapped my pants.

An explanation

princess cait x0: so a little bird told me that you were asking around about my eating habits

jd1686: the little birdie got me and kyle confused

jd1686: it happens all the time lol

princess cait x0: well it was implied that you were BOTH involved

jd1686: ok that might be true

jd1686: lol

princess cait x0: !!!

princess cait x0: why don't you believe me?

jd1686: we don't want you to be sick anymore

Assuming that the reason provided is the real reason for questioning my eating habits, this is cute. It's nice to know that in at least one instance, there's actual, legitimate concerns backing up their constant ridicule.

Let me explain. On Mondays and Thursdays, in those five minutes before our second accounting class starts, the boys find a way to make fun of me for, well, everything. Monday's topic: my eating habits. Because apparently, since I don't get lunch with them in between classes or after our second class, I don't eat at all. Even after explaining that usually I have my lunch here, from the food I buy at the grocery store, as well as letting them know I eat at the dining hall almost every night... they didn't believe me. Then, while having my dinner date with Katrina this evening, she tells me that they were asking her about my eating habits. And I was insulted.

My eating habits are messed up, and I'm the first to admit it. It has taken a lot for me to be okay with eating in public. Something happened in elementary school that has stuck with me for a really long time, although I can't specifically pinpoint an exact event that triggered all of this. All I know is that for a couple of years, I insisted on eating lunch at home EVERY DAY. After that, my lunch consisted of a juice box. Eventually I was able to go back to eating a little bit, usually crackers or rice cakes and fruit snacks. Middle school was no better. High school wasn't, either - I went from eating just a small package of Pringles, to just salad, to just yogurt. And that was it.

The problem, at least in those cases, has always been amplified by an unwarranted fear of feeling ill after eating too much. The thought of having to sit through 2-3 hours of classes after eating always stressed me out for reasons I can't really explain. That habit hasn't gone away, which is why I can't bring myself to go grab lunch in between my two classes. Those who know me might notice that I also have a problem going to eat before any class, be it breakfast or lunch. If I could tell you why, I would be able to just get over it, wouldn't I? But I don't know why, so I can't.

Eating in public in general is the main issue, but clearly the one I have been able to overcome in many ways. I was actually quite worried about coming to college because I knew I would have to eat in public all the time. Luckily, I got over that, at least enough to eat a healthy amount for my meals. Still, I struggle with this. People who eat with me see it, but don't get it - they see that I never finish my entire meal, especially in a restaurant setting. This is probably the thing that makes me feel most self-conscious, because it's the thing people notice most, and comment on. I bring home food every single time I go out to eat, with very few exceptions.

Obviously I don't expect people to know all of this, because I don't really share it. Why? Because it takes a lot of time to explain, and there's no real reason for it, so I don't usually feel like making people try to understand it. By not explaining myself, however, I open myself up to misconceptions. On the surface, people just poke fun at me. I'm sure there are a handful of people who watch me eat barely half of my meal and think certain things, assuming I'm doing it on purpose to diet or something. I've had people think I'm anorexic. It all really hurts, because it's not something under my control. When I stop eating, it's because I feel that if I take another bite, I'm going to be physically ill.

Honestly? I wish that everyone I know would read this blog and understand what I'm saying. I'm starting to get tired of being made fun of and having people think I have a serious problem. Besides, all anyone needs to do to prove all their assumptions wrong is to come to my house, either here or at home, and spend one afternoon/evening with me. Because in the comfort of my own home, I eat NONSTOP. Trust me.

Wow, I totally didn't mean to go off on a tangent like that. But it really feels good to let it all out.

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Speaking of being sick, I still am. I'm losing my voice and I'm still congested. But it's okay - as opposed to Melissa saying I sound like a man, Katrina says I have a sexy bedroom voice.

The weather has been gorgeous lately, although I understand that it's only temporary. Today it was 65 degrees. I walked outside in a short-sleeved shirt and was comfortable. I'm going to miss it when it goes back to being freezing cold.

I'm currently watching the primary results, and getting kind of frustrated. Texas is pretty much half and half, and I'm crossing my fingers that the votes coming in are going to Obama. And of course, as I'm typing, they're calling Ohio for Clinton. Son of a B.

Well then. I'm off to sulk about Clinton making somewhat of a comeback and wait for my loverly roommates to come back from their hardcore studying.

Yes We Can

My hesitance to adopt this website for my blogging has produced at least one positive outcome: because I feel like my entries have to have at least some inkling of substance, I don't waste too much time on here. Of course, I won't mention that I've utilized my procrastination skills elsewhere, such as reading political blogs. At least that's more educational, right? Right?!

I've been getting really into this whole election, which I suppose is a good thing. At first it felt awkward, because I felt that I was acting like a "poser." (Ah, haven't used that word in a while.) Getting excited about debates and Super Tuesday results felt strange because it was never something that interested me before now, and I felt like I wasn't really into them, but simply into the novelty of them. If that makes any sense at all.

Barack Obama is my candidate of choice by a long-shot. Something about Hillary irks me, although I guess I'll be forced to... I'll happily... I'll end up voting for her if she wins the Democratic nomination. I really hope she doesn't, though. I can't really explain what drew me to Obama, but I can tell you that he inspires me. He speaks so eloquently and brings a different personality to politics. He's not about smear campaigns and he doesn't take money from lobbyists, two things that I admire him for, because it takes a lot of guts to go against these things that have become "tradition" among politicians. I guess what it comes down to is that he's not the same old boring politician who I can't relate to or who doesn't care about my concerns; he takes time to reach out to the young people. Being on the very low side of the 18-30 age bracket, I hear a lot about how young people never really vote, that they get involved but then fail to go out to the polls. Obama represents something that we all crave, enough to pull the twenty-somethings out of their houses and dorm rooms and to the polling places. Another smaller reason that I'm behind Obama is that I tend to favor the underdog. Although he is on the heels of Hillary (or, according to some websites, leading her in the delegate count), he has come a long way, and it's been a battle. Hillary has intense name and face recognition, has the buzz about her being the first female president, and is married to a former president. Clearly, she has a lot going for her. However. Obama has shown that he can do just as well as she can, no matter how many people cite his inexperience (which I, for one, believe is not even that important when electing a president, because he'll have the intelligence to surround himself with experienced people).

So that's my little political schpeal.

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I knew it was coming, and today, I woke up with The Cold. I get The Cold usually every year, sometimes more than once. It's the same for me every time - first my nose gets stuffy and then runny, which is sometimes the extent of it. However, I know it's getting worse the day that I end up with an irritated throat, and when I try to sleep, the scratchiness of my throat prevents me from doing so because I have to clear my throat or swallow every other minute. And then I curse the heavens because I know that the following day, it will be even worse. And it was. My throat was scratchy all day, and now I'm developing a cough as well. Great. Thank you, below-zero wind chill. I appreciate it.

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There should be homework getting done right now, considering I should probably go to bed early so that I get better faster. But in the world of college, things make total sense in my head, but never get put into practice. I have a Capital Budgeting homework assignment that I should be trying to get done because in this class, he will call anyone at will to do the problems. I also have reading for my 10am class that should probably be done, but neither of these things are even close to being finished. So now it's almost 11pm, which is when I wanted to go to sleep, and now comes the decision - stay up that extra hour and get the work done, or go to bed now and wake up extra early to do the work. Without fail, nine times out of ten I choose to go to bed and get up early... except that I rarely ever actually get up.

I'm thinking my plan of action is to start the homework, go to bed in a half hour, then wake up "early" to finish it. I'll let you know how that goes.