Coming back.

[print from Parada Creations on etsy]

I always knew the purpose of this blog. In the beginning, I was recounting daily life in college with my roommate Melissa and our friends. It was hilarious and not catered to an audience whatsoever; it was for us.

Eventually, once blogging became a bigger ‘thing’ and I started joining communities, it was more about me. Not my daily life, but my goals and inner thoughts. The problem with that was, as time went on, I found less and less to write about that wasn’t me constantly struggling with (minor) depression and negative feelings about my anxiety. Because I had an audience, I didn’t post as much as I liked because it felt monotonous - readers wouldn't want to read more complaining, especially if it was about the same issues over and over.

So instead, at that time, I pushed to make it about goals. Monthly goals, yearly goals and themes, etcetera. I tried having link-ups and Friday five lists that I wasn't even that thrilled about, because I wanted to have recurring posts to keep people reading. None of that worked because apparently, super structured goals and posts don’t work for me. I stopped having a real reason to blog; it all felt contrived.

The last few posts here - which were scattered in topic and in frequency - are all about things that struck me with feelings. They are events in my life that called me to write about them. Everything else seemed trivial or monotonous: either daily life boring-ness (I went to Erik’s house! Again! And we watched TV!) or over-the-top ‘my life is a disaster’ posts.

I hemmed and hawed about deleting my blog. My domain is expiring soon and I haven’t posted since… I don’t actually even know. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I thought about doing a big re-launch, with a pretty design and new buttons and fancy ideas. However, I am not particularly creative and I didn't want to shell out the money to have it done for me.

I’ll be honest: there isn’t much going on in my life. I know this because whenever people ask me what’s new, I say “nothing, just the same old stuff.” I’m not trying to change this - this isn’t a post to challenge myself to do new stuff for the sake of having something to talk about - but I have a desire to document my life a little bit better again.

What I’m hoping for is a return to this blog’s original purpose: a record of the little things (and some big things) going on in my life, mostly for my amusement. Thoughts about random topics that pop into my brain that I feel like writing about. No more forcing topics that don’t feel genuinely fun for me in the hopes of growing my readership. Just me and my little, kinda-boring-for-right-now life.

2013 Finale.

Well guess who fell off of the NaBloPoMo bandwagon?

I was really intent on doing it, guys. For real. There were all sorts of topics I tapped into my phone before going to bed every night and I was gung-ho about being here in this space again. But then life threw a mini-curve ball my way and I lost my motivation. (No worries, as said curve ball was dealt with and things are back to normal.)

Now I'm back for December and, although I'm not setting any really specific goals, I'd like to try to post here every weekday. The weekends are always the toughest as I'm usually with Erik and, unless I find time to write posts ahead of time, nothing gets written or posted.

There will be lots of holiday-related posts here this month because hello, CHRISTMASTIME! Later this week I'll have a fun giveaway that I've been holding onto forever, which is really exciting! Well, exciting for me, anyway.

I'm going to try my best to savor this last month of 2013. The Christmas season is my favorite time of year and I'm hoping by blogging through it, I'll be able to slow down and revel in it. On top of that, I'm participating in Stratejoy's Holiday Council for the first time ever (!!!) and hope to pull back on my spending since I practically emptied my wallet of all of my spending money this past weekend. It'll be a time to take it slow, relax, and get my thoughts onto paper (or a computer screen).

Coming in November...

Sometimes you just have to go big or go home, right?

NaBloPoMo, I'm coming for you.

See you Friday!

Blog Housekeeping.

It has come to my attention that I haven't blogged since Google Reader died (yes, died, and I'm still in mourning thank you very much). Because of that, I don't exactly know if anyone saw I was back to blogging.

That, or, well... my readership is all gone. Which is also a possibility.

Just in case, here is a self-important post on how to stay in touch with me!

To subscribe to this blog...

• On Bloglovin', my new blog reader of choice, you can follow me by clicking right here.
• To subscribe to my RSS anywhere else (I think? Technology is hard, guys), click here.
• Want me in your inbox (TWSS)? Check out my sidebar for a spot to sign up for e-mails.
• Need the direct URL for some reason? It's findingherbalance.com, despite my blog being named a bit differently.

To find me elsewhere...

• Twitter | @princesscait
• Instagram | @princesscaitxo
• YouTube | youtube.com/catifindsbalance
• Pinterest | pinterest.com/princesscait
• tumblr | shewoulddance.tumblr.com

I also have pretty turquoise buttons in my side bar in case you forget to add me now and come back later frantically searching for me on different social media sites. (I warned you this would be self-important.)

See you around!

No Mo' Mojo.

Confession: I've lost my blogging mojo.

The problem can be explained with the phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Except, I'm using it a bit differently here.

Work is a drag. I don't hate it anymore and I know I can stay there if I must, but even I am getting tired of hearing myself complain. My weekends, while fun and exciting, are too mundane to write about for the most part. This is when it becomes painfully obvious that I'm not looking to ever be a writer because I can't craft an entertaining story out of my weekend activities nor pay enough attention to find a funny moment to blog about.

On top of that, I don't give myself any time to think anymore. If I do, I pretty much mentally collapse into a puddle of Sadness and Despair. Thus, no insightful posts about how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking.

There you have it. I'm stuck (in so, so many more ways than I can explain). I don't want to stop blogging or shut this place down, but I can't promise much. I think I'll give once-a-week posts a shot... we'll see.

feed me!

Okay, so last week when I got my grown-up blog address, I said you didn't have to do anything.

I fibbed.

This is proof of how extremely disorganized I can be sometimes, considering this is the second post about me switching URLs. You can tell that I didn't plan this out at all - I bought my domain last week after going back and forth about it and figured, well, that's all there is to it! Because clearly, I don't know what I'm doing.

Anyway, the point is that I realized that my post from yesterday didn't show up in Google Reader until midnight even though it posted here at 5am. Which means I needed to update the feed, which also means all of you lovely people who use a reader need to update your feeds as well.

So if you would, please click the link below so you don't miss anything!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/findingherbalance/rss

Thank you kindly and happy hump day!

movin' on up!

So, after three and a half years of blogging with a blogspot-dot-com URL, I finally put on my big girl panties and bought a custom URL. After hemming and hawing, I stuck with Blogger (because WordPress scared me too much). Presenting, my Taking This Blog Seriously URL:

http://www.findingherbalance.com

As far as I know, if you're subscribed in a reader, this changes nothing since I bought the domain via Blogger. However, if you've been visiting me by using my blogspot-dot-com URL (or searching some variation of princess and cait and blogspot), you can start using this instead, since it's hopefully a bit easier to remember.

Unfortunately, findingmybalance.com was already taken, and I'm still not sure if I'll officially change the name of the blog so as not to confuse people. Thoughts?

Happy Friday!

quick birthday wish.

Happy birthday, mama.
♥

{ Housekeeping note: I changed my e-mail address! If I'm on your contacts lists or you feel like adding me, you can now reach me at caitfindsbalance [at] gmail [dot] com. Feel free to also add me to your GChat lists, as I'm trying this new thing called being social with my blog readers. ;] }

{ Update on Emily: Over the weekend she went back into the ER because of a high fever and low oxygen levels. They were worried the fungus or another bacteria had gotten into her bloodstream, but it turns out she has the flu. It's not great news, but is much better than something having entered her bloodstream. Please continue to send thoughts and prayers for her recovery, and thank you so much to everyone who's been praying for her. }

i'm kind of a big deal.

A few weeks ago, I was surprised with a lovely award from Angela at Lariats and Lavender - The Versatile Blogger award! Awards are my favorite because they make me feel Important and Special, so many thanks to Angela.

Rules!

• Thank & Link back to the person who gave you the award
• Answer 10 questions
• Pass it along to 7 blogs you've recently discovered and enjoy
• Leave your recipients a note, telling them about the award.

Questions!

1. Why did you create this blog?
The point of my blogging has always been to get things off my chest and recount events that take place in my day-to-day life. As for the creation of this specific blog, it was a step up from my Diaryland blog. I was mostly copy-catting my friend Melissa because something about this platform appealed to me.

2. What kind of blogs do you follow?
I follow mostly personal blogs, along with a handful of topic-driven blogs, like those about being positive, crafting, and weddings.

3. Favorite Make-Up Brand?
I can't say I really have one. When I was a teenager I was quite partial to Maybelline, but nowadays I just buy whichever products work best for me.

4. Favorite Clothing Brand?
Forever 21. Again, I'm not really a brand loyalist and I don't shop for expensive clothes. Considering I shop most often at Forever 21, however, I guess it would qualify as my favorite.

5. Indispensable Make-Up Product?
This is a tough one. I would say my loose powder foundation from Maybelline, because I would be nothing without it. It's the one product I absolutely always put on if I'm going out or if people are coming over because it covers up my blemishes and the dark circles under my eyes. I can do without everything else - mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush - but I'm in love with my loose powder.

6. Favorite Color?
Pink!

7. Favorite Perfume?
I usually only use body spray and my favorite right now is Amber Romance from Victoria's Secret.

8. Favorite Film?
Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I can't really say why, but I have seen it so many times and think it's fantastic. My favorite part is when he takes over the parade and pretty much any time he talks or looks directly at the camera. Also? I'm pretty sure Matthew Broderick was my first celebrity crush.

9. What country would you like to visit and why?
Ireland. I'm half Irish and, for some reason, feel a strong connection to that part of my heritage. Going to Ireland always felt right to me. Now that I'm older and have seen pictures on the internet and from friends who visited there, the urge to go is even bigger. It's really the only place internationally that I'm dying to go visit.

10. Would you rather forget to put on mascara on one eye or forget blush on one side of your face?
Blush. I don't wear that much anyway, so it probably wouldn't be noticed if I only did one cheek.

Since I'm typing this up so late, I don't have the energy to look up bloggers to pass this on to at the moment (I know, I know, I'm such a spoil sport). Hopefully I'll find some time tomorrow, but regardless, anyone can feel free to take these questions and answer them.

three years old.

Three years ago today, I started this blog with a post about resolutions. It was the start of 2008 and the end of my silly crush on a friend. It was the middle of one of the best years of my life to date, when I roomed with three of my best friends and things were wonderful. It was before my first relationship, before my stress about my career, before I started dealing with health and anxiety issues.

Since then, my life has changed pretty drastically. I still feel like the same person, really - I mean, I still love all things dance and Tinkerbell, am obsessed with the color pink, love with all my heart, and laugh way too much. But a lot has happened. I graduated college, moved back home, stopped dancing, struggled with unemployment and not knowing what I want to do with my life, started and ended my first relationship, started my second relationship, and dealt with changing friendships. I watched my friends grow up, going to and finishing graduate school, getting jobs, figuring out their dreams, and getting engaged.

I chose the name Finding My Balance mostly because of my affinity for using dance references in relation to real life. Balance is an important thing to have as a dancer, but finding balance in life is also crucial. I tend to have an all-or-nothing attitude, so I'm constantly striving to find that balance.

My little corner of the web has been mostly quiet for these three years. I haven't gained too much popularity (like I kind of expected - and wanted - to happen) but I have acquired a lovely little group of friends. It's an unspoken resolution of mine to be in closer contact with both my followers and the people I follow, so be prepared for that.

In honor of my third blogoversary, as a thank you to all of my loyal readers (and also because it makes me feel Special and Important), I'm having my first-ever giveaway!

If you win, you'll receive a nice little package filled with the following goodies, pictured above:

• cupcake-shaped post-its
• a cute notepad
• a sleep mask
• mango lip butter from The Body Shop
  
• a Kit-Kat bar (my favorite candy!)
• one of my Christmas goody bags
  
• a set of four magnets
  

The whole thing is very Cait-esque - basically, this is exactly the type of stuff I'd love to receive in my mailbox. (Also, I may be adding another item or two since I'm due for a trip to Target today and I never know what will catch my eye while I'm there.)

To enter, just leave a comment on this post. I encourage everyone - newbies, lurkers, and loyal readers alike - to come out of the woodwork and tell me a little something about yourself. Maybe a fun fact, or what your favorite pizza topping is, or anything you feel like sharing, really. The winner will be chosen on Sunday night and will be announced here on Monday.

disappearing act.

I'm taking an little unplanned, spur-of-the-moment blogging break.

Because a friend of mine - let's call him J - challenged me to get out of my comfort zone, and suggested getting away from my crazy internet addiction is a good way to start.

So, off I go. For five days. See you next week!

housekeeping.

There's nothing like combating a cranky mood with a blog overhaul. After toying with Wordpress, I decided that I didn't really like it, so I committed to revamping what I've already got.

If you're reading in Google Reader, I seriously encourage you to click over if you haven't already. There's a fresh new layout (no more pink! ...okay, a little bit of pink), new buttons and graphics, and little goodies here and there. There are some important things to which I'd like to call your attention:

• The Facebook button. You'll see that, on the right, I've added a button for Facebook. Anyone who's interested can feel free to friend me on there, but please just identify yourself if you choose to do so.
• The e-mail button. It never occurred to me that my e-mail wasn't easily accessible, so now it is. You can send me any questions or comments you have, or just say hi!
• Google friend connect. At the very bottom of the page, I added my followers via friend connect. Go ahead and add yourself to that if you'd like as well.

That's pretty much everything. I'll probably still be doing a bit of maintenance over the next few days and if anything major is added, I'll let you know.

i love the internet.

Yesterday at noon, as you probably already know, the internet exploded with awesome. If you don't already know, check out this post, multiply it by about fifty (or more) okay more like a couple hundred people, add $2,000 donated and one very surprised blogger, and there you have it.

I heard about it late and was at work, furiously trying to make the 12pm deadline on a computer that still runs Windows 95. Just as the clock clicked to the magic time, I hit publish and headed off to Twitter to watch post after post come in. It was goosebump-worthy, for real. After about five minutes, I realized I should probably watch the video I'd just posted to my blog (like said, I was really late on this). I wasn't able to hook up my headphones, but even watching without sound I found myself tearing up.

As is probably the case with many of us, my friends and family in "real life" don't necessarily understand the connections made over the internet. Whether it's the slowly-decaying idea that people over the internet must be creepy stalkers or that it's just plain weird to call someone you talk to over Twitter a friend, I have gotten plenty of strange looks from those around me. But this is a shining example of how connected we all really are.

All of the love oozing from the internet and blogosphere yesterday has my heart filled to capacity. It's truly amazing how kind and caring people can be, even about people they've never officially met in person. If I ever need to explain to anyone what this whole blog and Twitter thing is all about, I'm telling them about yesterday. Because that? Pretty much explains it all.

social media tidbits.

I've been pondering a lot of little things lately, mostly related to social media and how I'd like to use it. They're of moderate importance and all I really need is some feedback, so here's a little list. If you read this and you have an opinion on one of these things, please feel free to comment or contact me about it to help me gain some perspective.

• Should I get a Tumblr account? My RL friends have started getting into it, although nobody seems to know exactly what to do with one.
  
  
• Should I create a separate Twitter account for RL friends? Does anyone actually do this, or would I be crazy? I've gone back and forth on this only because I don't know how comfortable I would be with the exposure of my blog to people IRL. Sometimes I feel I would be okay with it (considering some of my friends and my boyfriend already read it), but other times I worry about too many people having access.
  
  
• Should I switch to Wordpress? I am totally that person who worries about putting time and effort into a project only to abandon it in the near future. Which doesn't make sense because I've been blogging for two years and I really don't see myself stopping. From what I know (which isn't very much), it just seems like a daunting time commitment because it's not as basic and user-friendly as Blogger is.

That's about it for now. Any advice is very much appreciated!

my thoughts on the award backlash.

There seems to be a lot of hubbub (ooh, fun word!) regarding the Bootlegger Award nominees over at 20sb. I was actually thinking a lot about my own place in the blogging community recently, and the two thoughts (strangely) kind of go together.

Complaints are coming in from those who feel like the nominees are not diverse enough, that it's the same group of people up for all of them. Although I can understand the frustration to a point, the nominations were submitted by the 20sb members. Obviously no system is perfect, but there should really be no reason to complain. The nominees were picked because their blogs are fantastic and they are active in the community. I read somewhere earlier, on Twitter, that only about 100 people nominated others. There are definitely not 100 people in this accused "clique" that I keep hearing about. No way. So it's foolish to go around saying that they were all nominated by each other and that's the only way they're getting recognition. These are the people who are good at blogging and the ones that are active in the community, active enough to take the time and nominate other bloggers.

I'm tired of people throwing around the terms "popularity contest" and "clique." These terms have become derogatory in certain ways that hurt the people at whom they're directed. If you want to get to know these seemingly unreachable people, then you need to take the effort to do so. They're not monsters; they won't bite. Simply creating a blog, joining 20sb, and adding people on Twitter isn't going to make you best friends with everyone instantly. Yes, the majority of people will be welcoming, but it's not all up to the established members of the group to get to know new people without the new people trying at all. It takes two people to develop a friendship.

This is where I've recently been pondering my own participation in the blogosphere. I've been blogging publicly for two years, and am usually shocked when I hear that some of my favorite, more established bloggers have been around as long as I have or only a few months more. I think, well wow, shouldn't I have tons of followers and a bunch of online besties? But then I realize the reasons why I don't.

I tend to not be as active as I think I am in the blogging community. While I make the effort to post, I rarely comment or reply to anything on Twitter (mostly because I'm paranoid and try too hard to think of the perfect thing to say, and if I can't, I just avoid commenting or replying. BUT THAT'S A WHOLE SEPARATE STORY. Seriously). What I've noticed is by posting my own updates to both my blog and Twitter, and by reading (but not responding to) others' blogs and tweets, I trick myself into thinking I'm active. Blogging and tweeting are so personal, so just by reading them every day I feel as though I know the people who are posting. And in my mind, if I know them, then obviously they must know me, right? Wrong.

That's something I'm hoping to work on this upcoming year. It's my blogging resolution, something I never thought I'd make a resolution about. And I feel this is where many newcomers to online communities, like 20sb, get a little lost. They feel that by reading and following people, they're getting to know them so well, and that those people must also be getting to know them. Then when they realize that there are existing friendships outside of the blogging and tweeting realm, it hurts because it's sometimes difficult to remember that there's more to it that just blogs and tweets. And when people get hurt, some people get defensive or angry, and in turn decide to say things to hurt other people as well. And then there's drama and disagreement and confrontation and ohmygoshIamsonotokaywithallthisdrama. Ahem.

Like I said in response to Rachel's post, it's less of a situation of a popular crowd and more of a new-kid-at-school thing, if we want to keep using high school social structures as an example (which I hate). When you're new to a school, you can't necessarily make close friends instantly because people don't know you yet. It's the same with an online community - you can't expect instant friendship from people who have yet to get to know you.

So basically, it's about taking your time and putting yourself out there. E-mail one of your favorite bloggers about a post you liked, or that you related to on a really close level. Respond to that tweet about a movie or television show that you absolutely love. Promote your blog in a non-spammy way and try to find more people who'll relate to you and read your blog because of it. I've done some of this, and although I've been blogging publicly for two years, even I've still got a ways to go.

I just hate seeing drama. We have enough real-life shit to deal with, so why create all this angst over some silly online awards? Seriously people, go take all that energy you're putting into getting mad or jealous at someone and make it positive and send it to Brandy.

my blogging voice.

You know what I realized? I never really celebrated any of my blog's Big Moments. My first blogoversary (did I even spell that right?) went completely unnoticed, as did my 100th post.

Yeah. I'm really bad at those things, I guess.

My second blogoversary is rolling around in January, so maybe I'll do something fun and exciting then. Or, maybe for my 200th post, which is relatively soon. (I'm at 174 now.)

My blogging style has become so different from when I first began. I used to be a lot less inhibited - I just wrote whatever I wanted, however I wanted to. But as I started networking and reading other blogs, I realized that my posts could be a little more polished. Sometimes, though, I look back at my old writing style and realize I like it better than how I write now. And, I was funnier. (Or, at least, I thought the old me was funnier. I may have some bias towards, you know, myself.)

Is it because I have an audience now? Sort of. I mean, I don't sit down thinking, "okay, I really have to impress everyone with perfect sentence structure and my incredible wit." But it's still a teeny tiny thought in the back of my mind that I find hard to ignore. I used to write posts with wreckless abandon, barely editing a thing except for glaring grammatical and spelling errors (because I am one of those grammar/spelling nazis). Now I think a bit more, take note of when I'm re-using a certain word too much or if I'm starting too many sentences with "I..." It's very weird, actually, and I find it really hard to stop doing that.

But, I'm going to try. My goal is to get back to the spontaneity of my old posting style while still working to improve on my writing skills.

performance anxiety?

Like most things in life, I give up too easily on blogging. I open up Blogger, realize I don't have an immediate (and awesome) idea, so I just close the window and move on to something else.

I'm really terrible lately at having anything interesting to talk about. So instead of coming up with an idea, I'll talk about how I'm incapable of doing so. Brilliant, right? Except that this topic is pretty self-explanatory... and I'm just about done getting that point across.

Hm.

Sometimes I really feel I'm not cut out for this. Which makes absolutely no sense, because I used to blog (on Xanga) on the daily. Of course, that was just empty rambling about what happened in chemistry class or, I don't know, my friends falling off of treadmills in gym class.

Maybe it's performance anxiety. Back then, I wrote just to write and log my high school experiences. The only readers I had were my friends. Now that there is this whole idea of other people reading this, it makes me pause before writing. Not only that, but life is way less exciting than it was in high school. At least I think it is. Maybe I'm just not paying enough attention to little things, things that would make for charming or funny stories.

I know blogging is all about staying true to yourself, not trying to impress or cater to your followers. But that's really hard! I guess I'm just super judgmental and way too worried about what everyone is going to think (no surprise there!).

From today forward, I'm going to try harder to post whatever comes to mind and not be so critical of my writing.

a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

I really need to break this early-morning bedtime thing. I really should have been asleep two hours ago.

I spent the better part of the past few hours fiddling around with my blog design, and I'm finally finished. The only thing I'm not feeling 100% about is the background, but that can easily be removed. I would also like to mention that the header and background were done in Paint, because I only use the highest quality programs when designing this blog.

Anyway, those of you reading in Google Reader should head on over to check it out.

~

While I'm a little late on talking about Michael Jackson's passing, I feel the need to say a few things. There are many people who cannot move past MJ's downfalls and appreciate the immense talent that this man had. While I acknowledge the scandal surrounding him, I am unable to deny his ability to mold pop music into what it is today.

I will love MJ's music forever and always. As a dancer, it's pretty hard not to. I have countless memories of past recital routines choreographed to his music, like singing along to "Smooth Criminal" and donning a fedora as I rehearsed to a dance I wasn't even in, simply because I loved the song. I remember learning to do the moonwalk correctly when we were learning gliding in hip hop class. When I heard my drill team captain play "The Way You Make Me Feel" and start making up our next routine, I was so thrilled to be dancing to one of my favorite songs of his. Every time I hear the familiar beat of one of his songs playing on my radio, I will absolutely turn it up and dance in my car.

Michael Jackson is a legend who will live on and be remembered forever through his music.

~

My friend posted this on her Facebook, and I am completely addicted to it. I cannot wait until this man gets the rights cleared so I can get this song on my iPod STAT.

A B+ ain't gonna kill ya.

This post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers!

This is my first time participating in a blog carnival, and I must say, I was very excited to look back on old blog entries. After debating which blog to go with, I decided a blast from the past would be really interesting and fun. So without further delay, I present to you one of my very first blog entries, ever.

[Note: Content has been edited only grammatically and for spelling, because oh boy, was I a big fan of using chat-speak in my entries! To view the masterpiece in it's original form, you can head over here.]

~

November 7, 2002

Report cards ... my worst fears come true. Actually, not really. But you were worried, weren't you? Turns out that my worst grade was that B in English. What does that mean, you say!? That means that in everything else, I did great!!! RELIGION - A+ (only because I did the bulletin board for extra credit, hehe) ALGEBRA II, GEOMETRY, SPANISH - A DRIVER'S ED (which will change), CHEMISTRY - B+ ENGLISH - B (which is due to lack of trying) I think I did better than I thought I would. I only got a B in english because a couple of times, when we had an essay, we got a change to rewrite it and raise our grade, but I never did that so ... yeah. I hope everyone else did okay. There actually were top honors people, so I guess some people did alright in English. You know, I don't find high school that stressing. But some of my friends are making me feel really bad that I'm not stressed. You know what I mean? Although I think some people are just to get attention. Everyone is like, "omigosh I have so much work and stuff and I'm totally stressed," and so my natural reaction is "aww poor you, you must be really stressed." But then I think about it, and some of these people do the same things I do, except they try too hard and then stress out too much. That's what really bugs me. But that is probably just me, and there aren't too many people like that. I hope everyone did really great on their report cards, or at least appreciate and congratulate themselves on the grades they got. Just remember: a B+ ain't gonna kill ya.

~

All I can say is, I was such a critical little person, wasn't I? Yikes.

my first award, three months late...

Now that I've finally had a chance to breathe the past few days (and regulate my sleeping schedule - hurrah!), I sorted through a bunch of stuff in Google Reader and found this! I had starred it way back when and never got around to it, so here we go, three months later! Ooops.

This award was passed on to me by the lovely K over at Wanna Be Reality Superstar (which is one of my all-time favorite blogs). It's my very first award, so I'm kinda really excited.

Anywho! The terms of this award are as follows: A) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 4 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

On with the honesty, then!

1. I have an issue with buying stuffed animals. I currently have way too many and they're the one thing keeping my room looking like it belongs to an 8-year-old.

2. If I'm home on a weekday morning, I will almost always watch preschool television, like Nick Jr. and PBS.

3. When it comes to people who know me, I don't care what they think of me. And yet, I'm totally afraid of embarrassing myself in front of strangers because I'm worried they'll think I'm weird.

4. I regret not going to more parties in college, because I feel like I missed out some kind of important experience.

5. I have zero stamina when it comes to running or working out. And I have no idea how to build it up, either, because I just feel like a loser when I lose my breath after running for like, thirty seconds.

6. The number of post-it notepads I have has exceeded my need for them. But they're so cute, so I keep buying more.

7. I would really like to fast-forward to ten years from now because I am deathly afraid of getting a job and having that be the main thing in my life.

8. I have a habit of fantasizing about everyday situations. Like what it would be like if The Boy and I hadn't seen each other for a long time - I imagine one of those running-into-his-arms-and-being-scooped-up hugs and him spinning me around. And before I had my first kiss, I would imagine that quite vividly as well.

9. Music makes me happy, sometimes excessively so. I just love how it can channel a memory, a feeling.. anything, and can do it so perfectly.

10. I really enjoy shaving my legs. I have no idea why, but I do.

Now comes the hard part - picking bloggers to get this award next! Let's see here... I'll go with Probably Oversharing, your wishcake, Adventures in Blunderland, and Stylish Handwriting.