Monday, April 5, 2010

not another false start.

Oh hey April, how nice to see you! Way to sneak up on me. Yeah, yeah, I know I said that March was my month... and in a way, maybe the break up was the first step of my fresh start. One of the big reasons for splitting was that we both decided I need to be sans relationship for now and conquer my health issues solely for myself. So now, I have no excuses at all.

There are goals floating around in my head that I need to sit down and put on paper this week. I'm absolutely terrible at coming up with firm resolutions, so it's going to take some time for me to think about them and force myself to get at least a few out of my brain. Overall, I just need to get better.

With all of my health problems, I'm in a situation in which I never expected to be. Whether it's anxiety, my IBS, or a combination of both, I feel extremely limited in what I can do on a daily basis. I feel handicapped. Feeling this way at age 23 just doesn't sit right with me and it's time I do something about it.

I feel like I've written this post about a billion times so I know it sounds redundant. I'm getting sick of writing it, then coming back to it and realizing I've made no progress. This time will be different. There will be meal planning, cutting back on processed food, drinking more water, and exercising more. I'll maintain a normal sleeping pattern, go to work on a regular schedule, and eventually get back to looking for (and scoring) a real job.

I'm looking forward to feeling better, to feeling normal again.

[I want to say again, thank you for all the support. I'm having a hard time finding words to really talk about it to anyone - with the exception being actually blogging about it, because that's more like talking to myself - so I apologize for not reaching out to each of you personally. But seriously, thank you so much.]