step one.

In reference to the last post, that is the LAST time I upload pictures using Blogger. That was a layout nightmare, and I'm just going to pretend it doesn't exist. I apologize for the poor aesthetics.

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In an attempt to get out of my funk, I've decided to take control of the things that I can. While I can search for an apply to jobs, my joblessness is out of my hands for the most part. Instead, I'm focusing on my health and my surroundings first.

Since I've been sleeping strangely [read: nocturnally], I've had a lot of free time at weird hours. I can't really apply for jobs at 2am, so instead, I've been doing a complete overhaul on my room. I'm really bad at throwing things out, because I like to keep stupid things due to their ties to certain memories. For example, I still had my corsages from the two senior proms I attended... four years ago. They were in relatively good condition, and still looked pretty, so I said, "why not?" This time around, it suddenly occurred to me how silly it was to keep them (in a box under my bed, no less), so I threw them out. Needless to say, I've already filled up several garbage bags, and it feels really, really good.

I've also come to the conclusion that I'm finally putting my foot down about my sleeping, eating, and exercising habits. My body is obviously unhappy with me, but since I've been too busy moping around about joblessness and my lack of direction in life, I haven't cared to fix anything. Now I do, because I realize it's something that will only hinder me in the future when I finally get my first job. So what does this mean?

In terms of sleeping, I need to rework my before-bedtime schedule, set specific times to go to bed and get up, and end my relationship with the "ignore" button on my phone (which I use as my alarm clock). I'm also trying to think of a way to reorganize my room to fit a comfy chair, because right now the only places to sit are my bed and the folding chair I use at my desk. From what I've read, associating your bed with things other than sleep is a big no-no, so I need a place to sit while I watch TV, work on my laptop, and read.

My diet comes next, because it relies on me waking up and going to bed at the same times. I'll be setting specific times for meals and snacks, eating fruits and veggies as often as possible, and getting on a schedule of taking my probiotics every night so I can finally start feeling better.

All of this is going to be a major challenge because I'm the kind of person who loves seeing immediate results. When I don't, I feel like I've failed, and then I usually give up. Or, I don't start things until the conditions are just right. Basically, I'm an uber perfectionist. All of the things I'm working on are things that don't yield immediate results, so it's going to be difficult to keep up with all of it. Luckily I have the support of my friends, family, and especially The Boy to make sure I stick to it.

And the best part? This is only step one in the long journey to becoming a better me.