Here I go again...

Not much has changed since the last entry, except that I'm even more fed up than before.

This competition is just draining me off everything I have. I'm sick, I have three tests this week, and still I have all this nonsense to be worrying about. I'm angry about how unorganized we've been, how unprepared we still are, and the addition of the fourth kid to this group.

We weren't always a group of four, and we probably should've never been more than three. This fourth kid doesn't show up to any extra practices and is apparently behind on learning the choreography. Of course, then he has the nerve to talk crap about me (when we've never even met) because he doesn't understand how I could be any good since I don't show up to class on Mondays. I'm not even going to get into how completely irrelevant that is, or else I could go on for days.

So why did he end up in our group? That is the main issue behind all of my stress and anger. If he wasn't in the group, then things would be SO much easier. The original three of us have practiced together many times and actually work really well together. I just don't understand why this fourth kid needed to be included. It's ridiculous! But of course, nothing can really be done at this point. Basically, though, all my other aggravations stem from this issue. Why do I have to haul ass back and forth for practice in the middle of the week? Because this kid can't practice on the weekend. Of course, it doesn't help much when he doesn't even show up for the middle-of-the-week practice, either.

Then there's the nitty-gritty of competition stuff - costumes, positions, and accuracy of the choreography. Besides the shirt Ashley just found today, we really have no definite answer for costumes. We just figured out spots and transitions, but have yet to work as a complete group to make sure nobody runs into each other. And as for the choreography... I'm just praying that this fourth kid has finally learned the rest of it and has been working on it. I'm praying for a miracle, that we'll all get together to finally practice, and the whole thing will run more-or-less seamlessly. Right now, I don't have much hope.

I'm completely sick of the way this has gone down. I'm done with the disorganization, lack of communication, and lack of even giving a shit. I've spent too many hours of "practice time" sitting on the floor watching Chris run through his solo for the five hundredth time, or all of us just sitting around doing nothing. My parents are on my back for good reason, because I'm out at practice until 2am, and as of late, with a horrible cold on top of that. It's just ridiculous. Everyone just assumes that I'm available at any given time, and that driving back home isn't a huge deal or that it takes time out of my schedule. They think it's okay for me to stay out until 2am when I'm completely drained and sick, with three tests in the next week to study for.

It's done on Saturday. I'm sure we'll have a really fun time once we actually get to the competition. As I've discussed with Ashley, if we don't get a high score because the guys don't take this seriously, then I'm going to be really pissed off. And I'll probably cry. This routine is one of the best ones I've been involved with so far, and we've worked so hard on it. The last thing I need is for this to be ruined by stupid shit.

Ugh.

~

I'm sick, again. Last week I was definitely getting better, until I woke up on Friday. Luckily we had a snow day, because my throat was killing me and I was completely congested all over again. I spent all of Friday in bed, hoping to regain my energy for the weekend.

Saturday was Julianne's Sweet 16!! It was so fun, and Julianne looked so pretty. I spent most of the night chatting and catching up with Dawn. We talked about a lot of... interesting things, and it's really funny to know that she feels the same way I do about stuff. Then I was supposed to have competition practice, but that never happened (of course).

Today I drove back here and studied. Well, sort of. I procrastinated a lot. But I've been studying in between that! My habits will never die, I suppose. I was all set to start studying on Friday, but napping, watching TV, and talking to Natalie trumped studying in terms of importance, heh.

Saturday can't come fast enough.