Tuesday, September 29, 2009

bad habits.

You know what's impossible?

(And yes, I know, I shouldn't say things are impossible, because then I'll never achieve them, blah, blah, blah.)

But anyway.

Breaking habits is damn near impossible, if you ask me.

Take, for instance, my habit of biting my nails. I started back in second grade for no apparent reason. Well, okay, there was a reason - I was at a sleep over and we were about to watch Are You Afraid of the Dark? which I wasn't allowed to watch at home. Lame, I know. But still, I don't really know what caused me to think that chewing my nails down would make me feel better.

Now it's fifteen-ish years later, and I'm still doing it. I've tried a million ways to stop. My third grade teacher bribed me and a couple of my classmates, promising extra points in whatever prize scheme she had for the class (none of us stopped, by the by). My aunt promised me a manicure and lunch date, her treat, if I stopped. I had braces for two and half years. Everyone told me that once I got them on, I would have to give up because it would be physically impossible. Leave it to me to figure out a way to do it anyway. Now, the latest ploy is The Boy, who keeps semi-threatening-in-a-joking-way that if we make it far in this relationship, I won't get a ring if my nails are chewed down.

The frustrating part is, I don't think I actually bite my nails in nerve-wracking situations anymore. Now I usually find myself absentmindedly nibbling while I'm on the computer or doing some other tedious task. And it's not just my nails, either - I bite the skin where the corners of my nails are (sorry if that's gross, because to me it's not, so I really don't know). It's become less of a nervous habit and more of a compulsive one. I find that I want the nails to be bitten as far as I can bite them, along with the sides, even if they bleed and hurt. It makes no sense and I honestly should just stop, but it's so unbelieveably difficult.

I have no idea how to break this habit. I've stopped temporarily, but I reach a point where they become really tempting once they get a little longer. If anyone has successfully stopped after a long, long stint, advice is greatly appreciated.

Got any bad habits? Ever broken any of them?