Thursday, October 16, 2008

trying not to go crazy.

Oh. Right. I have a blog.

School is kicking my ass. I'm really trying to put up a good fight but it's tough stuff. I've got so many projects, tests and assignments coming up that it's taking all of my willpower not to freak the hell out. On top of that, I have to meet with my adviser about my GPA (again), ask permission to take a fifth course at the same meeting (I'm already doing miserably.. can you let me take MORE COURSES?!), schedule my final semester (!!!), and maintain correspondence with the outside world.

Needless to say, my life is a mess right now. This weekend is the first in a series where I will probably be locked in my room forcing myself to study. I had fall break this past weekend, which meant also getting Monday and Tuesday off. Did I do any work? Nope. Nada. Zip. ZILCH.

It's triggering arguments with The Boy, too. Why? Well, mainly because he'll point out that Grey's Anatomy should not be a higher priority than studying. Should it be? Of course not. But it's only an hour, and that's an hour I can make up over the weekend. Regardless, he seems not to realize (and this is as much my fault as his) that spending time with him takes up a lot more time than taking an hour out of my day to watch TV. For example, instead of staying home an extra night this past weekend to extend my fall break (which would have given me Tuesday night to get some studying done), I chose to come back because he really wanted me to. Don't get me wrong - I wanted to come back, too. But I'm a weak person who's bad at saying no and/or setting myself straight on my priorities, so even though I knew I could be productive at home Tuesday night, I said screw it and went back to school. Needless to say, I still have barely cracked open a book. So for him to be criticizing how I utilize my time when any time spent with him is only minimally productive? Kind of annoying.

This semester is really challenging me and so far, it's winning. But I'm not done yet. I'm putting up the best fight I can, so we'll see if it all works out in December.


EP said...

Ugh. I know how those semesters go. I had a few of those in school, and there comes a point where you have to sit down and force yourself to study because if you don't, you never will. :/

I hope the meeting with your counselor goes well and that you and the boy sort this all out, too.

ashley said...

cait you'll be fine...i have faith in you!!! remember if you need any help you know where to find me