keep breathing

I've got dance on the brain. Some of you might be saying, "but wait.. don't you always have dance on the brain?" Truth is, not really. Usually my dancing just happens out of nowhere, and rarely do I actually think about it. But with recital under two weeks away and my solo only in it's beginning stages, I need to do some serious choreographing.

What's frustrating is that I'm always struck with inspiration at the most inopportune moments. Including right now. After nearly falling asleep a couple of times while on the phone with The Boy last night, I passed out minutes after we hung up. (Note to self: Stop laying on the bed while on the phone, no matter how awesome it is.) Two hours later I was wide awake, and after trying fruitlessly for a few more hours to fall back asleep, I've given up. My brain wouldn't shut up, jumping from one thing to the next on my laundry list of things to think/worry about. So here I am, bright and early at 6:30am on two hours of sleep, dancing.

Also on that wonderful laundry list:

• Friday Night. It's Katrina's 21st, so she invited everyone she knows to go out to a club in the city. I've got two reasons I keep thinking about it. One, I'm still trying to figure out plans for arriving at the club and then how I'm getting home. I have a couple of options on the table, and I just can't decide. Two, Katrina promised me we'd do a shot in celebration of the fact that The Boy and I are official (yay!). Problem is, I have yet to do a lot of "serious" drinking (I'm a Smirnoff Ice kinda girl), and I'm not exactly sure what kind of shot we'll be ordering. Hopefully I can get away with doing a Jell-O shot (they aren't so bad going down.. right?) and be on my merry way. But for anyone who's lurking around and knows a thing or two about shots.. any other suggestions for something on the milder side? Because as you can see, I know absolutely nothing about drinking. It took me forever to decide that my drink of choice will be Cosmos for the night, and that I might also try getting a Blue Lagoon, as per my brother's suggestion. (NOTE: Keep in mind my brother is two years younger than me and knows more about alcohol than I do. Right.)

• The Boy. As I mentioned earlier, we're official as of Tuesday. Needless to say, I'm happier than I can even put into words. Yet every once in a while, my nagging, doubtful side likes to make me analyze everything. Right now it's asking, "are you getting into this because you really want it? Or only because you are grasping firmly onto the one real opportunity you have to be in a relationship?" That side of me is SUCH a mood-killer. *dramatic teenage eye roll*

• Finding an Internship. Last week I sent in my resume for a good five or six jobs. I have yet to hear back from any of them. The Boy suggested I just start calling random places to find an opening, but I tend to lack a backbone in most situations, especially ones that require me to assert myself.

There were other things, but they've since left my brain. Of course. Now that I've decided to be awake and think about these things, my brain's going, "what are you talking about? I wasn't thinking while you were trying to sleep. You're crazy." Well I guess that last part's right.