2015 Recap, Part II.

This is Part II of my recap of 2015 - find Part I here.

From September through the end of the year, I felt like I was on rollercoaster plummeting down a huge drop. (Or, at least that what I imagine it felt like, since I’ve never actually been on a rollercoaster). What I mean is, life went FULL SPEED AHEAD for the last three months of the year. Erik and I attended an awesome Halloween party and dressed as Wendy Peffercorn and Squints from The Sandlot. I don’t even remember November other than moving Erik’s parents into their new house and celebrating Thanksgiving at my parents’ house.

The period of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas felt short, rushed, and overall disappointing. There were good moments, like buying our first Christmas tree and decorations for our apartment. But I didn’t do much baking like I usually do, and I didn’t really spend time with anyone except Erik’s friends for our ugly sweater party. I don’t know if it was the weather (it was super warm in November and December, so it felt more like spring) or not being in my parents’ house for the Christmas season, but I felt underwhelmed. Christmas itself, along with New Year's Eve, were low-key and I didn't feel my usual giddiness. I was also exhausted from an insane two weeks at work during this time, which didn't help with my holiday spirit.

The first week of the new year never truly feels like the new year because I’m still celebrating through to my birthday on January 8 (one week past New Year’s Day). This year was a little different in that I wasn’t celebrating my birthday in any way, other than getting some gifts from Erik. Instead, this year my youngest cousin on my mom’s side of the family got married on January 9, this past Saturday. It’s a long, somewhat crazy story, but the short version is that it was planned in three months and has been the focus of my mom’s family’s attention for that time. It was a beautiful wedding and we all had a fun time - and, if you know me at all, you know I love weddings in any capacity. For me, though, it was also a finish line. I finally felt like my year was over. My stressful time at work was over, the holidays were over, and now my birthday and the big wedding were over.

So here I am, back to life on my terms. Back to a life not filled with three-week stretches of carefully scheduled days and constant anxiety. Back to focusing my energy on what I want to be doing. One of those things, I’ve decided, is connection with people. This includes diving back into blogging and connections through blogging, because I miss it. Here's to 2016!

Thanksgiving Weekend.

My Thanksgiving weekend was a whirlwind of eating and laughing and seeing a bunch of people I loved. Oh yeah, and baking desserts.

On Thanksgiving Eve, Lyndsay and I set out to construct an apple crisp. As usual, I did about 90% of the work, but it's always okay because we both know I love it. Her friend Nina came over and we headed out for drinks because that's what you do on T-Giving Eve.

Except by 11pm, we all felt like grandmas and were ready to go home after only one drink.

This ended up being a good thing. Upon arriving home, I stopped only briefly in the kitchen to make sangria before crashing into bed. In the morning, I turned on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and giddily danced around when they announced the balloons WOULD fly (there was iffy weather, and I would've been truly devastated had they not been included). I happily baked pumpkin pie before my mom got up and took over the kitchen.

Thanksgiving went how it always goes - catching up over appetizers, hovering around the kitchen trying to help in any way possible, barely touching my dinner (hi, anxiety), playing a family game, making and serving dessert. Actually, this year I made cinnamon rolls on the spot and they came out so well that I'm considering just making them all the time. They were miniature and I used the cupcake maker Danielle gifted me a few years ago, so it was super easy and fast.

We were super unhappy that we each matched each other.

The next day was a post-Thanksgiving get-together to see Matt and Amy, because they celebrate the day itself with other family. We had sub sandwiches and Bagel Bites while we completely obsessed over their wedding. It was the first time seeing them since the big event, so we rehashed all the fun details. The kids all escaped to the den to play a rousing game of Card Against Humanity, which I now have to keep in the trunk of my car because everyone is ALWAYS ASKING TO PLAY IT.

Watching Amy play this for the first time and giggle over all of her cards was the best part.

On Saturday (yes, my weekend kept going), I attended Friendsgiving with the H-Town crew. I have been so blessed to have been welcomed into Natalie's group of hometown friends - they are the best kind of people who always have funny stories to tell, listen to every word you have to say, and are just supportive and wonderful. I know how hard it can be making friends as you get older and I am so, so lucky to have stumbled upon another handful of girls I can call friends.

My new BFF even if she doesn't know it yet.

Finally, finally, on Sunday I slept. And lounged. And online shopped. And dreaded going back to work on Monday. But mostly, I looked back on the weekend and realized how much fun I had and how, really and truly, I didn't feel as anxiety-ridden as I usually do. Progress.

Wordless Wednesday: Thanksgiving Edition.

I'm Thankful For...

Dishing about family drama, wine nights, and the Ke$ha concert with Lynds. Late nights, cooking dinner together, complaining about our parents, and the great wheelbarrow debacle with my brother.

Being asked to be a bridesmaid in my two best friends’ weddings. All of the wedding preparations for Danielle’s big day, then watching her marry her husband and seeing how happy they were. Being full-to-the-brim with love for my friends and the love that they’ve found. Bonding over pints of Chinese food, homemade Oreo cupcakes, games of Just Dance, take-out dinners from Chili’s, and unseasonal blizzards. Meeting dancers and being as excited as if they were celebrities.

The evolution of my relationship with Erik, from the adorably awkward and nervous beginning stages to the comfortable, amazing place we’re at now. Meeting his friends and loving all of them. Bringing him into my family and watching him get along with everyone. The opportunity to see him several times a week, including once-a-week sleepovers. How wonderful it feels to have his arms wrapped around me. His ability to make me smile and laugh even when I don’t want to.

VEDA. BEDS. #SummerofHarry. #twookclub. All of the new friends I made this year from all of those. Everyone who reads and comments on this blog. All my Twitter friends.

Letting go of some stress and anxiety. Being more relaxed and not thinking so much. Growing my nails out. Working more hours at my part-time job.

Feeling like my life is settling into place a bit more every day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 44].

{A Thanksgiving greeting from the white board on our fridge; my dad added the subtitle.}

1. What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?
We're having a two-part party with my dad's side of the family. Thursday will be my family, Lyndsay's family, and potentially my cousin who's been in California for the Navy and his mother and sister (we're betting their attendance is dependent on him showing up). Friday will be mine and Lyndsay's families again, plus my cousin and his girlfriend who are coming up from Maryland.

2. What are you most thankful for this year?
My amazing relationship and my wonderful boyfriend. Mushy mush mush, I know, but it's true!

3. Do you have any traditions on Thanksgiving? The parade? Football? Long naps?
I, personally, always watch the parade. This means waking up earlier than normal for me, so I usually curl up with coffee or tea. We also always have green bean casserole. Yum.

4. Is it called stuffing or dressing? Is it in the bird or a separate dish?
Stuffing. My mama used to make two - the Stove Top brand and homemade stuffing that was cooked in the bird - but this year I think she's just doing the homemade kind because it's not really popular in our family.

5. Do you cook?
Not really. I bake. I'm in charge of desserts for every holiday and party.

6. What is your favorite dish?
Green bean casserole.

7. What is your dessert preference?
Pumpkin pie all the way. Everything else pales in comparison.

8. What is your favorite Thanksgiving memory?
My paternal grandparents (who passed away when I was young) always used to bring little chocolate turkeys for all the kids. Once they passed away, for a few years my aunt would go out of her way to get the same exact chocolates from the same shop. It was always really awesome to have a piece of candy along with all the other desserts.

9. Do you plan to shop on Black Friday?
Yes. This is actually the first year I'll be venturing out early because I'm on the hunt for a few specific gifts for Erik. Otherwise, I'll follow my normal routine of checking for online bargains and heading out to stores that have all-day sales (like Target).

10. What are you most dreading about Thanksgiving this year?
The possibility of drama if my cousin (the one moving home from California) makes it. There's no guarantee he'll be home in time or that drama will definitely happen, but there's potential for it.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

belated long weekend recap.

Is it really Wednesday already? Yikes. I really got knocked on my ass by a cold I woke up with on Sunday until right now. Anyway, here's my belated recap of my long weekend, because it was just too fun to not talk about.

My Thanksgiving was calm and casual. I woke up early to watch the Macy’s Parade on TV (the beginning of my demise, I’m sure, considering I got only five hours of sleep) while perusing the Black Friday ads and drinking tea to settle my stomach. We headed over to my aunt and grandparents’ two-family house in North Jersey and had a relaxing afternoon of chatting, looking at old family photographs, drinking wine, and of course, eating. There were too many biscuits and the typical myriad of desserts from our favorite bakery, which meant lots of yummy leftovers to take home.

The cousins with Grandma & Grandpa on Thanksgiving.

On Friday I had plans with Lynds for a food coma recovery day, which entailed salads from Quiznos for lunch and lying around in sweats. After catching up on family drama – and boy, was there plenty – we settled in with my aunt to watch A Christmas Story. This movie was chosen specifically because my dad and aunt both love and quote it, but Lynds and I had yet to see the entire thing.

For about the past four years, we swore to watch it on Christmas Eve when it’s played for twenty-four hours on TBS, but we never got around to it. It was wonderful to finally watch it from start to finish, and we joked that we no longer had any more life goals because this was the ultimate accomplishment. I guess we just peaked at ages nineteen and twenty-three.

Saturday was Natalie and her fiancé, Kyle’s engagement party, which I arrived at much later than intended. But, the party was still a blast. I got to catch up not only with Danielle and her boyfriend, but also a few people from our college crew I hadn’t seen in a while and the couple’s hometown friends. We talked about our careers as a slideshow of college pictures played in the background, occasionally causing us to pause, laugh, and reminisce. And, most exciting of all, Danielle and I were asked to be bridesmaids! I almost cried and honestly, I haven't stopped gushing about it since. I'm going to drive my family mad.

The gaggle of "kids" - the couple, their siblings and friends - posing before the cake was cut.

During the cake-cutting, there were jokes about how this was really a baby shower (to which Kyle responded, not for ten more years), criticisms of Natalie’s cake-cutting abilities, and a short-lived icing war between Nat and her brother. We then retreated to the basement for intense games of Foosball and more chatting. I ended up talking to Nat’s brother and ultimately giving him my number (mostly because he asked in a way in which I couldn’t really say no, but also because a small part of me wanted to), so we’ll see what happens with that.

I had grand plans to figure out my life on Sunday – I was going to settle in and make meal plans and daily schedules for myself, but then I woke up and found out that the three days’ worth of sleeping and eating poorly had caught up with me. I was completely out-of-service from Sunday through Tuesday, only feeling better towards Tuesday night as I tuned in to watch the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting and the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

My love of fresh starts will most likely cause me to spend most of today making up lists, completing some easier chores, and getting on track. Seeing how much damage I did to myself this weekend by having to cater to my anxiety (especially how out of it I felt at Saturday's party) served as the final impetus to really start making changes now. 2011 is going to be my year.

giving thanks.

It’s Turkey Day once again and that means it’s time for some discussion about those things for which I am thankful. I got a little verbose this year, so bear with me.

Family. I have the most amazing (albeit bat-shit insane) family a girl could ever ask for. Parents who put up with me and hold their tongue more often than not about what’s not going on in my life. A mother who listens to me talk about any and everything for as long as I like, giving me advice and her opinion whenever I ask for it. A father who, as much as he loves to act like an old grump, is a mushy family man through and through. A brother who makes me laugh until I’m crying, plays video games with me, lets me vent about all my problems, and is truly the only other person who understands how ridiculous my parents are.

I have wonderful aunts and uncles who fill the little spaces that my parents can’t and grandparents who spoil me rotten. I have nine wonderful cousins, most of whom I would go to the moon for; these are the people who will become a part of all my family traditions in the future, acting as brothers and sisters instead of mere cousins.

Friends. Oh, my heart is too full of love for my friends. I could fill pages and pages with my admiration for these people that have become my safety net, my saving grace. My four best friends from college are my soul mates. I was lucky enough to get a chance to live with each of them for at least a year in college, which left me with more memories than I could ever recall and more laughter than I ever thought possible. They are amazing to me, astounding me at every turn with how hard-working and intelligent they are. Sometimes it’s hard to be surrounded with people so full-to-the-brim with talent, because it’s easy for the jealousy monster to unleash itself, but mostly? I’m just completely in awe of them.

As if having four best friends wasn’t lucky enough, I have two almost-sisters and a handful of girls-turned-young-ladies with whom I grew up inside rooms with floor-to-ceiling mirrors and deafening music. Even though we all don’t see each other as often as I’d like, my dancers all have a spot in my heart, and it only takes a few notes of a familiar song to remind me of them.

I have a fellow dance diva that I met not in ballet class, but in freshman year of high school, and we’ve been friends ever since. We’ve been out of touch – another hard-working brainiac, that one is – but I just know when we reunite, it will be as if no time has passed. I have a pseudo-family who lives down the street, a trio of sisters (one of whom had the cutest baby girl ever last spring) who treat me as one of their own and whose parents let me eat ice cream out of their freezer without asking. I have a couple of guys who never fail to make me laugh or at least smile, and even though we mostly ‘hang out’ in AIM chat rooms, we have our own awesome dynamic going on. I’m so glad to have connected with them this year because they’ve lightened up a lot of my bad days.

The Internetz. It goes without saying that I spend a lot of time online. This one is less about being thankful for the actual internet (though I am glad it exists!) and more about the people I’ve met. Though I have yet to technically ‘meet’ any of you, I am grateful for all the people who lay eyes on this blog, who read my words, and especially those who take the time to comment. If I could, I would give the entire blogosphere a great big hug.

Music and dancing. It’s been a hard couple of years and most days, I have music playing from when I wake up until I fall asleep so that my thoughts are occupied with lyrics instead of dwelling on my life. I just enjoy music so much, which is underscored by my love of dancing. The worst days can be cured by playing an old recital song and remembering choreography or letting off some steam by making up new stuff to a favorite song. I would probably go insane without music or the ability to dance.

I’ve been absolutely terrible at commenting on other blogs this week – hopefully I’ll get around to it this morning as I sip my tea and watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade – but in case I don’t, I wish all of my readers the happiest of Thanksgivings. Enjoy your day, whatever it is that you’ll be doing, and good luck if you’re heading out on Black Friday!

happy thanksgiving!

With all the health problems and emotional drag that I've been having lately, it's hard for me to remember all the good things in my life. I've always been thankful for family, friends, my general good health, and all my material things. It's just a little difficult to focus on that when my stomach won't act right and I have anxiety attacks whenever I leave the house.

But today is Thanksgiving, so it's a kick in the pants for me to realize how lucky I truly am.

I have an amazing family, both immediate and extended. My parents have been extremely understanding in letting me stay here while I figure everything out, with limited griping about why I haven't found a job yet. I have a hilarious younger brother who always understands me, listens to me vent or cry, and actually offers pretty decent advice. I have aunts and uncles who would take me in at the drop of the hat if they had to, cousins who I share so many fun memories with, and grandparents who spoil us rotten, even today.

Then there are my friends. I don't even know what I'd do without them. College was a wonderful experience for me just because I ended up with a handful of really close friends, each of which I can relate to in different ways. Whether it's my roommates, my accounting major friends, or my RHA cohorts (oh, the memories of 9am exec board meetings), I love them all so very much and would not have survived college without them. As for my dance friends, they are my go-to people. I grew up with them and spent more time in the studio with them than I did my high school friends. They are practically my sisters.

My boyfriend (aka The Boy, aka Mark) is absolutely amazing. First of all, he puts up with my insanity and nonsense basically all the time, which is saying A LOT. He has been incredibly supportive these past few months with everything I'm going through. Even though we get in a lot of silly arguments, we're both too forgiving and too in love to really let anything break us. (For the record, I'm not good with this mushy stuff, and rereading that sentence? Kinda makes me wanna vom [shout-out to Katie and Melissa!]. But it is the truth.)

And last, but certainly not least, are people in the blogosphere (that means you!). While I did have this blog last year, I wasn't as nearly as involved in the community as this year. I'm thankful for everyone who takes the time to read my thoughts, comment on posts, or just say hi on Twitter. It's awesome to be able to connect with so many people so instantly.

I hope every single one of you lovely people has a wonderful Thanksgiving, whether it's sharing a small meal with loved ones or a large shindig with a 20 person extended family. I hope there's plenty of pumpkin pie, and if you have any left over, I will gladly come visit you and finish it off. I'm up early to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade (SO. EXCITED.) and then my Dad's side of the family is celebrating at our house a little later today.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

~~

Super Serious, Day 8 - Wednesday.

Sleep: Went to sleep at 4am, woke up at noon = 8 hours.

Breakfast (12:30pm) - 1 full egg and 2 egg whites scrambled with shredded cheese
Lunch (4pm) - Crab salad sandwich on rye bread
Snacks - Pretzels; taco shells with salsa; 1 pumpkin cupcake; Mike & Ike
Dinner (10:30pm) - Cup o' Noodle soup
Snacks - 1 scoop pumpkin ice cream; Mike & Ike

Drinks: 1 glass of water; 1 can of Sierra Mist
Vitamins: none
Exercise: 1 hour of raking/sweeping; intermittent chores throughout the day (cleaning, bringing stuff up/down the stairs)