Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Recently, Erik and I have started spending entire weekends together, mostly out of necessity. He had a full-time internship and a handful of night classes this past semester, which only left Friday through Sunday to spend quality time together. In April, for Nat’s wedding, I was with him from Thursday through Sunday – four whole days. Now that I work and he's back home, it's really the only time I see him.

When the weekends are over, I get sad. My bed always seems emptier that first night after a few nights together. I never get that sick of him, which is surprising because I get sick of mostly everyone. I look forward to the next time I get to see him.

Now that I have a job, moving out has become a tangible goal. Sure, it would take me a little while to save – I’m not making a ton of money – but I could do it, if I really wanted it. Erik hopes to have a job as soon as possible and he’s looking to move out, too.

Combine those two things together and you get this:  I am now seriously considering moving in with Erik.

It started out as a theoretical situation a few months ago, inserted randomly into conversations about other topics and prefaced by “maybe in the future, when…” or followed up by, “… but you know, just hypothetically.” I think it’s something we both expected to eventually happen, but neither wanted to say it with any certainty.

Now that it’s a real possibility – obviously not immediately, but within the next year – it’s actually a little scary. Putting it on paper (or, you know, the internet…) makes it feel real. I mean, no real decisions have been made, but the conversation has taken a turn from “maybe, in the far future” to “possibly, in the closer future.”

But I will say this. The prospect of living with Erik and seeing him every single day absolutely thrills me. I'm not naive enough to expect that it'll be sunshine and cupcakes all of the time; I know we won’t always get along and we'll learn just how long it takes to get annoyed with the other person. I have health issues that he knows about, but living together will expose him to the extent of how bad they can get.

I also have mixed feelings because I've heard a lot of criticism of moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend before getting married. Some people say you absolutely must have a year or two to live completely on your own, just to know what it's like. Other people say it'll complicate and possibly ruin an otherwise good relationship. Those things are what freak me out the most.

When I look at the reality of it, though, I can't imagine that the difficulties would overshadow my happiness. The thought of seeing him every day, going to bed and waking up together, or coming home from a stressful day at work to hang out with him makes me completely giddy. He has this uncanny ability to completely relax me, whereas in my current living situation (with my parents), I don't always come home to a stress-free environment.

I look forward to the day that this will be my reality. Until then, I'll be saving my pennies and crossing my fingers that Erik gets a job sooner than later, so that we can start looking at it a little more seriously.