My brain's been a bit of a mess lately and I'm not really sure why. There are a bunch of things I want to write about but it's almost as if I'd rather not. It's a struggle between keeping it bottled up - and therefore not making it real - or letting it all out so I don't go crazy. One of those things is being so jealous (in a mostly good way) of my friends, most of whom are going to graduate school, medical school, or becoming a teacher. It kind of blows my mind, actually. So to take my mind away from how much I'd rather be any one of them (even if it means tons of hard work), I'll focus on some goals for the month.
Get healthy. Yes, this is on the list again, but only because it's a constant work in progress. I've been doing better in many ways but am far from feeling 100%. Going out is still a bit of a chore, though I've been pushing myself more and realizing a lot of it is anticipatory stress. My diet has improved and there were a few days when I felt fantastic; then again, the other day all I ate was greasy take-out and pretzel M&Ms, and that ended pretty poorly. Mainly, though, I need to get better for goal number two, which is...
Find a job. Theoretically I should have had a job by now. Sometimes I feel completely ashamed when I look back and realize how much time has passed, how long I put things off, but I can only focus on today and the future. Maybe I spent too much time wallowing in self-pity, dealing with sickness and a handful of emotional things, or maybe I needed all this time. Whatever the case, I'm extremely restless and my parents are starting to drop more and more hints. Plus, I'm tired of everyone asking me about it, so I've decided that this is the month when I'm going to actively look for and pursue job openings. (Also, I'm in need of a new phone and want one with a costly monthly plan that I can't really afford on the itty bitty salary I'm making now. But that's just a minor, icing-on-the-cake reason for getting serious about it.)
Figure out which TV shows to watch this season. I can't have all of my goals be serious, now can I? I love looking up the calendars for when TV shows are premiering, deciding which ones I want to watch religiously. Last year I didn't stick to any of my shows, so I really want to pick a few that I will definitely watch. On top of that, I have twenty-one days to catch up on Glee until the premiere, and judge me all you want, but sometimes silly things need to take some kind of priority.
September will also bring a lot of fun, including a visit to see one of my friends at her new graduate school, attending a local music festival with friends, and a Labor Day block party to cap off my summer officially. I have a feeling it's going to be a lovely fall.
