Thursday, July 16, 2009

performance anxiety?

Like most things in life, I give up too easily on blogging. I open up Blogger, realize I don't have an immediate (and awesome) idea, so I just close the window and move on to something else.

I'm really terrible lately at having anything interesting to talk about. So instead of coming up with an idea, I'll talk about how I'm incapable of doing so. Brilliant, right? Except that this topic is pretty self-explanatory... and I'm just about done getting that point across.

Hm.

Sometimes I really feel I'm not cut out for this. Which makes absolutely no sense, because I used to blog (on Xanga) on the daily. Of course, that was just empty rambling about what happened in chemistry class or, I don't know, my friends falling off of treadmills in gym class.

Maybe it's performance anxiety. Back then, I wrote just to write and log my high school experiences. The only readers I had were my friends. Now that there is this whole idea of other people reading this, it makes me pause before writing. Not only that, but life is way less exciting than it was in high school. At least I think it is. Maybe I'm just not paying enough attention to little things, things that would make for charming or funny stories.

I know blogging is all about staying true to yourself, not trying to impress or cater to your followers. But that's really hard! I guess I'm just super judgmental and way too worried about what everyone is going to think (no surprise there!).

From today forward, I'm going to try harder to post whatever comes to mind and not be so critical of my writing.

1 comment:

Jessica Eiden Smedley said...

My blog is the furthest thing from "having a point" and I can find myself in dry spots. But, I also find it therapeutic to at least get something typed up - even if it's only two sentences about the crappy humidity.

Sometimes the most random rambles will become your favorite posts.

Good luck.