Saturday, May 10, 2008

moving out

I'm pretty glad that I slept late today, even though I was frantically rushing to get to my final. I didn't get a chance to review the last topic in the morning, which hurt me in the end because there were five questions on the end of the final about it. Whoops.

Sitting and taking that final was the last moment of peace for me for the rest of the day. I rushed back to my house in the rain to start packing. I was glad to find Natalie still getting ready to leave, so we said goodbyes for the second time. I watched her walk all the way down the stairs, just like we had done for Danielle.

Packing the cars was hellish. Just when the rain seemed to be letting up, it suddenly poured as the three of us - my mother, my brother and myself - walked back from our first trip out to the cars. Considering my mother isn't the best candidate for walking to and from the parking deck, she was exhausted after the first trip. She was also frustrated with the parking situation directly outside of the house, which I could've told her would happen. Regardless, we were able to haul stuff out pretty quickly, and soon my brother and mom had left.

I spent a good hour taking down the remaining decorations in my room. A lot of people would probably have taken down decorations first, since they're the easiest. However, I would've probably gone crazy with bare walls and an empty desk. I took the ribbon off my lamp, turning it back into its ugly dorm-like self. The curtain came down, as did the scrapbook pages used to cover the less-than-pleasing cork board bordering the room. I finally got all my remaining stuff out into the common area, and making sure my window was locked, I stood for a moment to remember the view. Turning the lights out, I paused for a moment (as I've done every year) before closing the door for the last time.

Now came the hard part. I made one last trip to my car, returning to the house in silence (I'd had sappy songs playing on my laptop up to this point, you know, just to hit that emotional chord as hard as possible). Triple checking the drawers, fridge, and bathrooms, I threw out anything I wasn't taking with me and packed my last bag. Then it was time to take down the little verse I'd written about the four of us, about our experiences in this house. I ended up sitting on the floor, against the banister, and reading it again. It didn't take long before I was crying; I'd been starting to every couple of minutes, as I'd open the doors under the sink expecting the trash to be there, or as I stopped by Natalie's closed door and mentally pictured how many times I'd stood there, distracting her and Danielle. After I finished reading and took a moment, I packed the papers away and picked up my bag, and reached for the light switches. It was the most difficult part of the entire thing. I hit the first one, and the lights in the common area went out. I hit the second one and was enveloped in darkness. But the same familiar shadows of the house remained as I walked very slowly down the stairs.

Being the last one to leave the house was very emotional for me, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I think leaving while other people were still there would be equally emotional, plus, this way I had the opportunity to just take in the emptiness. I felt an attachment to leaving last, since I'd been the very first one to move in.

I am beyond excited for summer, and I know that I'm going to see my roommates a million times anyway (every two weeks, at least). But having to leave behind our home away from home, where we could see each other at any hour of the day.. it's tough.

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